Like talking dirty online? Like watching porn on the iPad? Not for long...

19 May 2010

SFWSmut. Filth. A nod is as good as a wink to a blind bat. Kyak kyak. All that dirty stuff is pretty popular online, right? You don't have to feel like a seedy ol' shit with a grubby mac on whilst perusing nude humans with engorged bits or talking filth to complete strangers.

The joy of the internet is that you can keep your depressing onanistic tendencies behind closed doors without looking like a crazed, aroused troglodyte leaping out of hedgerows, spurting broth over your pasty, hairy stomachs.

That could all change though as the internet marches on toward some kind of dead-eyed evangelical goodliness, free from massive knockers and one-handed typing.

As reported by The Register, Kent Police are in the process of using the Obscene Publications Act to prosecute a chap called Gavin Smith for publishing obscenity in respect of a log of a private online chat he had with another individual. Basically, any online chat you have that is regarded as obscene could see The Powers That Be arguing that you have 'published' material and that you could be lined up for prosecution. Of course, this news is on the back of Paul Chambers getting fined for a daft tweet about blowing up an airport, which, if it is enforced more frequently, should be seen as a warning shot to anyone posting comments on a blog or on Twitter.

The full text of the judgement, plus legal analysis, can be found here if you have the time or inclination.

Effectively, you could be seen as committing a criminal offence if you use Twitter as a "public electronic communications network" to send messages that are "grossly offensive, indecent, obscene, menacing, annoying, inconveniencing or causing needless anxiety". That stands for any online outlet of words.

Meanwhile, Apple's CEO Steve Jobs seems to want iPad and the App Store to deliver "freedom from porn". Quite why it is his judgement call is another matter, but this ideological fluff could see you unable to access filth on your iPad, which is surely perfect for a quick ham-shandy thanks to the large screen format?

That's not stopping adult site YouPorn from delivering free much to the iPad though, as the tit-peddlers have launched an iPad-optimised version of the site with the entire catalogue of videos being converted into HTML5 so they can be watched on Apple's Flash-free tablet, report ME.

We'll just have to see how this pans out. At the moment, things are taking a worrying turn.

TOPICS:   Technology   Privacy   Government

26 comments

  • Tom
    Don't you think that guy looks like the late Mark Speight and the brown haird woman looks like the woman out of smack the pony.
  • The B.
    If it is Mark Speight then it's necrophilia and is almost definitely covered by the obscene publication act.
  • penninechris
    more like Patrick Kielty getting a nosh me thinks
  • iPadsaremylife
    WTF are you on about. It's Mario, Luigi, and Waluigi. Have you not got eyes? With regards to the topic at hand, it's a disgrace. What ever happened to freedom of speech? Also, Steve Jobs is a cunt. How is it 'freedom' to not have porn. No one has to have porn, and can therefore be free from it if they wish. But to restrict porn is to limit freedom. And who the fuck is going to buy an iPad if they're not allowed to jizz all over it?
  • Internet T.
    Looks like Steve Morgan (owner of Redrow/Wolves) to me http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/05_02/Morgan_468x348.jpg
  • Internet T.
    And can you watch people bum foxes on the iPad now?
  • MrFoxton
    Well that's the problem, steve jobs wants to censor the foxes arses.
  • F. F.
    I heard it's underage foxes?
  • Waluigi
    WTF iPadsaremylife ??? How dare you suggest such a thing? That's clearly Wario, not me. That's the problem today - too many people jizzing all over their screens to be able to tell the difference.
  • wonky h.
    Whoever says that I bum foxes is a dirty liar.
  • James
    is that even possible? i guess it might be but really??? not that i look at the stuff but their has to been some freedoms and or limitations that they can't do that, right?
  • Amanda H.
    Well, stick a lava lamp up my arse and switch it on. No, I mean really. Hang on, there's someone at the door..........
  • The F.
    Does anyone know where Amanda keeps the Vaseline?
  • wonky h.
    Next to the Rich Tea. Which she hands out to the nocturnal wildlife.
  • Alexis
    The scary think is that I recognise that as Gianna Michaels. Dirty boy.
  • Martin
    That mushroom that Luigi is eating, rather amusingly, looks like a large cock. How rare. And I must say, I never noticed what great tits mario has.
  • That t.
    It's not Mark Speight at all, idiots, it's that one off Father Ted that is always talking and the blonde bird looks like the one with glasses off Hi-de-hi.
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    Who would you recommend is the best/cheapest hosting provider? Oh and anyone want a free I PAD?
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