Keep personal data private with cut-out-and-keep Google!
So you don't own a computer, you have no access to the internet, but you want to experience the wonders of Google for yourself. Easy! Just download this template, cut out the appropriate windows, and you can experience Google wherever you are! Admittedly you might want to change the language settings, but that's easily done:
So there you go! Keep your personal data secure - it's Google without the internet! We can see no part of this plan that doesn't make complete sense.