HSBC system fault killed credit cards
Poor, poor HSBC customers were destitute and broken after an error left them unable to take out money or make card payments after a computer breakdown at the bank! Those stupid computers, ruining everything! HOW DARE THEY? KILL THEM WITH FIRE!
Of course, HSBC customers are a force to be reckoned with and flooded the bank with complaints and demands for compensation. Some swearing was even involved. Typical HSBC customers really.
One student called Perry Kennedy posted on Twitter: "Nothing like trying to pay for the petrol you’ve just put in your car to have your card declined. F*** you HSBC."
Another person with a vaguely amusing name, almost like we've made it up, Michael Le Silk, said: "I felt like a right prat when I couldn’t pay for petrol. I had to wait for someone to come and lend me some money to pay for it!"
The bank got their systems working again around 7pm. Sheepishly, the company tweeted a mealy-mouthed apology, saying: "Sorry for the inconvenience. Please call customer services if you need further help."
Relying on computers is, of course, an excellent way to save a business money, however, when you cut 14,000 jobs in Britain alone, you'll almost wish those staff were on hand to fix a problem like this. That's because computers are evil and not to be trusted.
Anyway, if you're a customer of HSBC and you were trying to buy Chinese lovebeads and your card didn't work, feel free to try again today as it was only a glitch that stopped you fulfilling your perverted ways.