HotUKDeals Of The Day - Thursday 22nd July
Today at Deals Of The Day, we’re celebrating manliness in all its forms. We’ve been practicing by manning the hell up with some hand-stands and star jumps and shortly we’ll all be stripping down to our nappies and wrestling in front of a roaring fire.
In the meantime, here’s some man-sized offers straight from the brooding macho bargain arena that is HotUKDeals…
Rahhhh! We start with the calling card of any real man – the DVD box set. Not VHS tapes, not a canvas bag filled with Ladybird books, but the real deal, DVDs... in a box. Namely Die Hard, Commando, Big Trouble In Little China, The Transporter and Man On Fire.
Lock yourself away with them, study them hard, then emerge blinking into the world like a newborn butterfly. A butterfly with muscles and tattoos and a BIG fucking problem with everyone. Then smash someone in the back with your open-palmed hand. Rahhhh! Only £3.99 thangyouvermuch.
Next, we turn to the lifeblood of the tough guy, the drink that gives him the vitamins and nutrients and protein and carbon and calcium and Omega 3 that he needs in order to be able to successfully prowl the streets, handing out punishment to anyone who he feels deserves it. And he’s always right.
We speak of course about milk. But in its natural state, milk is a foul-tasting liquid, one that can cause even the burliest bloke to hurl up his guts all over the pavement. Better to stick to a nice bottle of Frijj mikshake, spiked with loads of lovely flavours. They’re normally £1.10 each but right now you can nab two for £1.00. Sweet.
Finally, a question. What does a hard man drive? Is it a Porsche, a Ferrari or a Skoda Fabia? None of them – it was a trick question. The answer, obviously, is ‘a hard drive’. Geddit? You’d better or we’re going to rip your intestines out through your nostrils, fry them on the throbbing veins on our temples and then feed them back to you while giving you a tickle – the kind that fucking knacks.
The hard drive that we’re talking about here, through gritted teeth mind you, and with clenched fists, is a 400GB portable one, made by the psychos at Verbatim. Better still, it’s only £34.44 delivered. Delivered by a bloke called Big Vern who won’t ask any questions and doesn’t expect any lip. Got that?
(deals found by HUKD members Film Brain, spongebrick and Rudz)