Horrible future to hold talking train windows and TV's that can touch you

4 July 2013

'The Future'
'The Future'

The future is a dark and horrible place, thanks to two inventions that are being flaunted around by absolute madmen.

First off, is Microsoft's new touchscreen that can touch you back. The screen mimics how physical objects feel by offering ‘tactile feedback’ to users (which will make pornography a whole new frontier).

Microsoft say this haptic technology “[does] for the sense of touch what computer graphics does for vision.”

The continue: "The force-feedback monitor responds to convey the sensation of different materials: The stone block “feels” hard to the touch and requires more force to push, while the sponge block is soft and easy to push."

Naturally, Microsoft aren't thinking of bongo films, but rather, they're hoping this will be useful for the medical profession, with one of the engineers saying: “I could see an image of the front of a brain and pushing a finger through the layers of the brain to travel through the data. I could imagine receiving haptic feedback when you encountered an anomaly, such as a tumor, because we can change the haptic response based on what you touch.”

The rest of us meanwhile, will be pretending to finger cam girls.

Elsewhere, a German firm want to give us all talking windows, presumably for awful adverts, which will give the sensation that the sound appears to "come from inside the user's head" when passengers lean against them. Brrr. Train rides are going to grim when you're minding your own business trying to have a kip.

The Talking Window campaign idea was shown off at the International Festival of Creativity in Cannes last month with developer BBDO saying they'd received "highly encouraging first reactions" from those who tested it.

BBDO say: "Some people don´t like advertising in general. But this is really a new technology. [It might] not only be used for advertising, but also for music, entertainment, mass transport information, weather reports and so on."

It's only a matter of time before these two technologies are combined, putting voices in our head while our touchscreens grope our nether-regions into a pulp.

TOPICS:   Technology   Advertising   TV

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