Google to pester you about your health as well

16 June 2014

keep fit health Technology, it seems, has not developed into a legion of killer robots like we were promised, but rather, something to enable everyone to show off about their awful keep-fit regimen.

People tweet about how far they've run, selfie themselves into oblivion with some putrid, lurid green smoothie they've made and then they chug you about a half-marathon they're doing for the Cats Protection League.

The Wii got grandmas doing yoga, Nike+ spammed everyone with kilometres, Samsung threw their own fitness technology into the ring and Apple have turned their phones into the impossible - a device that enables owners to even more smug about their tedious lifestyle choices.

Not wanting to miss out, Google are apparently working on a competitor to Apple's HealthKit, called Google Fit. The second someone invents Smell-O-Phones, the entire internet is going to smell like B.O. and farts from pulse-eating nicompoops.

Of course, Google are readying Android Wear, which will tie-in with this new health system which will monitor your heart and all that nonsense.

You may remember that Google tried this before, with Google Health, but no-one was at all interested. There's been a growing reluctance for people to want to aggregate their entire lives with Google.

Would it be too much to ask to get some clever hackers to actively hack these crowing keep-fit fanatics hearts and make them all die in the street?

TOPICS:   Technology   Mobile   Health

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