Facebook launch Zero
The people who run Facebook need a slap in the mouth. They keep tinkering and meddling with it to the point where, for the most part, the bloody thing doesn't work, leaving you screaming in frustration at it.
I've been prone to outlandish claims that I'll never use it again, ridiculously assuming it would somehow make a difference. Threatening to quit Facebook is like trying to put out a volcano by pissing into it.
So while the main site gets fiddled with constantly (no points to anyone snickering at the word 'fiddled'), the Facebook folks have been making something so stripped down that it's almost guaranteed to never break (but don't hold your breath).
This basic version will be text-only and called Facebook Zero.
The low-bandwidth Facebook is aimed at people viewing the site on their mobile and will launch "in the coming weeks". Presumably, this doesn't mean people who have an iPhone/Nexus/Whatever. This is for plebs like me with normal handsets.
Apparently, there's good reason for this development as there are more than 100 million people who access Facebook from their phone.
Facebook said the new site "omits data intensive applications like photos".
"We are discussing it... as an option to make Facebook on the mobile web available to everyone, anywhere and allow operators to encourage more mobile internet usage," said a spokesperson for the firm.
Facebook have already offered a fat-free version called Facebook Lite, but Zero is positively skimmed. One good thing is that viewing your account on Facebook Zero will mean a complete absence of posing tits with their shirts undone pouting in a bathroom mirror.
The site was announced at the Mobile World Congress in Barcelona, which runs from 15-18 February.