Emails your grieving family will be dead chuffed to receive

Here at Bitterwallet, we’re on top of all death-related consumer developments. Last week, we brought you news of a new type of urn, one custom-made to look just like the dead person whose ashes reside inside it. Jazzy.

Now, if you’re the person who plans to be inside one of those urns, you can address your loved ones from beyond the grave with a new service from a company called the Last Messages Club. They’ll store up to 100 emails that will be released to their intended recipients at dates decided by you before you peg it.

Just what you need – a 'happy birthday' email from your long-dead dad to knock you into shape as you stare blearily at your PC mourning the passing of another year. Not surprisingly, it ain’t free – the silver package is £45 while the gold option will set you back £190.

Of course, you could alternatively craft some hand-written letters marked ‘to be opened in the event of my death' and leave them in the care of a trusted individual. But what would be special about that? You’re far better off bashing out some emails on your computer and paying someone almost £200 for the pleasure of keeping them for you.

No wonder you’re dying soon. You’re weak you are mate.



  • Nobby
    It is more fun to bury / hide messages, with clues how to find the next box. That's what I did before I died.
  • Mike e.
    Hello darling, Just a quick email to let you know I'm having a great time now I'm dead, this devil guys actually not that bad. Anyway, back to playing chess, I think we've got a game of twister lined up later! Toddles
  • Junkyard
    I intend to swallow a small tape player just at the moment of my death, such that friends and relatives can hear my final message to them by listening carefully over my corpse.
  • Steve
    How'd that work out for you nobby? Can I have a box to find please? You'd have to send an email a year after you die saying "I'm not dead, just in prison in Mexico" or something. Then, another year later send another email saying "just kidding!!"
  • alex
    perfect business if you ask me take someones cash and spend it nothing else required i mean how are they going to know?
  • Mike e.
    They sell you a £2000 coffin, then when you disappear behind the curtains to be 'burned', they lob you in a skip and plonk the next dead fucker in your casket, and so the cycle continues. You are less likely to complain or haggle and you're more likely to pay over the odds as you don't want a fuss as it's a sensitive subject.
  • The B.
    My mums uncle did this to her aunt, prior to snuffing it he'd set up presents every year for her birthday, hidden in various places, he'd get someone to email her the details. The bugger with that is, what if the email address changes? And would anyone want to reminded over and over that their partner's fecked off and left them? I don't know if her hitting the booze was a direct result of the emails but it couldn't have helped much.
  • Mike e.
    Bob, hitting booze is not a responsible way to grieve, hit a puppy, a baby or a female person, but never hit booze.
  • Oh e.
    Our society is so effed up it is UNREAL!!! There are some really disturbed individuals in this world. Yeah - great idea (not) . . . Let's just send emails to our grieving family after we die! Nothing like effing up our society even more . . . WOW! These people need to be sent to the effing mental ward because their new business venture is going to create more grief that happiness. Great way to rob society of our hard earned money. Anyone that pays theses SCAMMERS needs some serious psychiatric help! However, I am not surprised. Anything to make a quick buck without doing any work. Seems like our society is ALL ABOUT THAT. What about WORKING for a living - - Not SCAMMING!!! Let's hope the next generation has more sense and better work ethic!

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