Digital Britain is coming! Meh...

The government has outlined the future of Digital Britain with the publication of its long-awaited report as compiled by Lord Snooty from The Beano (sorry, communications minister Lord Carter.)

Some of the juiciest bits that we can all forward to along with our responses are…

• Universal broadband coverage – everyone will have at least 2Mbps broadband coverage by 2012. We should bloody well think so. And…?

• For those who can't obtain broadband through copper wiring (approximately a third of the population,) there will be next-generation broadband. Again, yes, and…? This will be 2012 remember. It’s not much to ask and should have been implemented five years ago.

• Existing copper wiring customers will be charged a 50p levy in order for that final third of the population to receive broadband. Ooh. Tax! Sexy!

• A secondary plan for universal 3G and next-gen coverage across the country. Next gen? Radical!

• Reliable broadband coverage throughout the rail network. As opposed to the Russian roulette we get now.

• The aim of introducing mobile coverage on the London Underground. Great – more shouty numpties on phones all over the tube as well as everywhere overground.

• A pledge to "reform and liberalise" the mobile spectrum. Liberalise? More porn? Christ!

• All national radio stations will become digital by 2015. Hang on to those digital radios kids.

• BT will be encouraged to "respond competitively" to Virgin's 50Mbps fibre optic network. That wouldmake sense. Although it’ll probably be a major pain in the balls for BT.

• A freeing up of the digital spectrum to allow mobile operators to offer "next generation mobile network capable of broadband speeds of 50Mbps in the main urban and suburban markets going down to perhaps 4-5Mbps in the more rural areas". No time frame here? Expect it in 2060 then.

• A £300m Home Access Scheme for low-income families. Wide availability of new lower cost devices, new schemes for recycling PCs to low-income households or new prepay mobile broadband. Again, a good thing.

• Ofcom to regulate targeted legal action by “rights holders”. Action to be taken against repeat downloaders of copyrighted material (action likely to be a reduction of service as opposed to being cut off as in France.) How many potential holes in this one? Ooh, probably millions.

So there you go. Nothing too radical and nothing too exciting. A blueprint for digital evolution that should come as no surprise to anyone who isn’t a complete Luddite. And a potential sting in the tail for nasty pirates.

Dear reader, what are your thoughts about it all? What announcements would you like to have been made? More from Digital Britain here….



  • tits
    great i'm subsidising the cuntry bumpkins. virgin media customers on fibre won't be paying the £6 then?
  • Tom P.
    No fucking mention of FREE 50Mbp internet access for inmates...i'll be inside soon, so this would have been a vote winner (not that i'll still be able to vote)
  • Pete
    to first poster - i pay for an 8meg connection but get only 2.2, so im subsidising you. tit.
  • David P.
    I did my university dissertation on Broadband availability throughout the world and I know for sure that over 99.6% of UK properties in 2007 already had access to copper broadband (ADSL). This was based on research carried out by Ofcom in 2007 so I expect the figure is even closer to 100% now. So unless a third of the population, that is, 20 million people live in less than 0.4% of UK properties, I very much doubt it is true that 20 million people cannot access broadband through copper wiring.
  • Lumoruk
    So your hypothesis David is it's just another stealth tax, like road tax that was meant to fund roads and public transport?
  • David P.
    I wouldn't like to speculate as to whether the 50p levy would be a stealth tax, just would like to know where Linsey Fryatt @ Stuff got the 1/3 of the population figure from. Perhaps Linsey got the wrong end of the stick. If she meant to refer to a third of population not having access to LLU or cable then she would be a lot closer to the truth. However imo, FTTH is the way forward, like in Japan and South Korea.
  • Antique A.
    David, as our resident expert can you confirm, is it true that the leading FilTTH technology is POrN? Passive technology! Now that sounds worthy of a whip round!
  • Francis R.
    Once again, the hard working public, are propping up the ones that 'can't be arsed' so they can sit around all day and play online games on their XBOX I bought for them, CUN*TS!
  • Pure-Klenz
    Wonder how much Lord Snooty is on for writing this report?
  • Jill
    Pete - Correction, you pay for UP TO 8mb. It costs them the same amount to provide your 2.2mb as it does to provide my 6.5mb (assuming I don't use significantly more bandwidth).
  • The B.
    David, I'm rather impressed, due to the nature of your dissertation you obviously garnered your degree recently which points to you being rather young (although I could be wrong), and yet your spelling and grammar are impeccable. Well done sir.
  • Guy B.
    The Real Bob, you sound like a pedantic old fucker. Why don't you just unplug your modem and strangle yourself. This is the internet, where we can escape old farts like you who revel in such shite. A general level of coherency is fine, but the continual whining of some old bastard's really gets my goat.
  • MinstrelMan
    next gen broadband eh? is this like my old gaffe in Hampton (Peterborough) where the phone lines were so next gen (T-Pon fibre optic) that you even struggled to get dial up, never mind broadband. pricks.
  • Laurz
    I think that the figures for copper wiring are probably not far off being correct. We have copper wire going from the exchange to our village but the entire village is then ran on aluminium (i think) rather than copper for some unknown reason. BT have told us that although they have a lot of copper wire down at the exchange unused they won't be installing it in the village because they using fibre optic in the future. Oh great, how far in the future? 'probably in 5 to 10 years' was the answer. Excellent. I'd love to know why we are connected to the FOURTH closest exchange to our house as well. If we were connected to any of the other 3 we would get PROPER broadband but because BT connected our village to the 'wrong' one we can only get 0.3meg on a good day. The farm 100 metres up the road from my house gets 8meg because they're connected to a closer exchange. got to love this country
  • tits
    pete: obvious mis-understanding of line quality, length and bandwidth. as per what Jill said. you already have 2MB broadband. tit.
  • Giles
    @ Guy against Real Bob +1 I find Real Bob highly offensive too. Probably reads the Daily Mail.
  • Frugal
    For a more comprehensive news coverage of this Digital Report:
  • The B.
    Guy against Real Bob and Giles, whilst I may be a pedantic old fucker, I'm still entitled to an opinion, even if you don't agree with it, I don't sit and whine about the shite you spout do I? You too are entitled to a point of view even if it is bollocks and posted in a semi coherent illiterate fashion.
  • Francis R.
    I like The Real Bob's comments, I look for them in a crowd of opinionless vulgar comments directed at others misfortunes and points of view.
  • tay
    I want a garden at my new place but because i live in the city i cant afford to have one, will all the village bumpkins kindly donate a little cash so i can have one? No, didnt think so but then again i choose to live here so shouldnt moan about it and should appreciate the things i do have (decent broadband) If you need broadband that bleedin much you should move!
  • The B.
    Thank you Francis, I went to school with your son Nick you know.
  • Jay
    I wonder how this will affect us up here in hull, where KC have a "competitive rate" of £17.99 for the slowest broadband in the country. Of course because this is a "completive rate" and not a "monopoly", may I stress that again "NOT A MONOPOLY" we can not have any other broadband / telephone than KC's shitty little service.
  • Guy B.
    Sure you have your opinion, and just like the way I let retards gamble round like mongs, I let you have your opinion. Dosen't get away from the fact that you are a sad cunt who should just fuck off from public view (yes that includes the internet). Go back to work you fucking librarian.
  • The B.
    And that ladies and gentlemen is the level of genius we're dealing with here: retards gamble round like mongs you are a sad cunt who should just fuck off from public view you fucking librarian What genius put downs, how very non pc to refer to the disabled as "mongs", your parents (assuming you know who they are) must be so proud. I can see them in their council house now, sat on their velour sofa, clad in the finest fake Burberry from "dahna market" whilst watching whatever reality TV dross is on at the time. Ah, how fine it must be to have such a low IQ that you can be satisfied with such a poor standard of living, personally, I prefer my houses without multiple broken down cars in the garden, but then who am I to dictate what comforts you and yours in such a pitiful existence. Good luck to you sir and when you leave school may the dole be everything you ever hoped it would be.

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