Desperate man on the throne helped by Twitter user

11 May 2010

toiletpaperGoing for a dump in a public place is a treacherous business. The amount of variables you have to weigh up before curling one out are vast.

Which trap should I use? How many bums have been on this seat? Is my shirt in the line of fire? How loud will any initial fart be and do I have to wait 'til someone sticks the hand-drier on so I can let loose? Who keeps sticking their dick through that hole in the wall? After all this, its not surprising if you forget to check if there's any bog-roll.

No matter though because, thanks to social networking, strangers will come to help you out. That's right, one bloke - a Twitter user called @naika_tei - found himself without toilet paper. So instead of swearing into the ether, he whipped his phone out and posted a Twitter message asking for help.

After a 20 minute wait, someone brought him something to wipe his modern arse on. Isn't the world a wonderful and giving place sometimes? Whilst he was in there, he should've done a "For a good time, tweet..."



  • Nobby
    This is the problem with technology. He had an electronic gadget (iphone, ipad, etc) and could tweet for help. Pre-technology, chances are he would have had a paperback book on him. Rip out a few pages, and you're done. Ars-wiping? There's not an app for that. At least, not real ars-wiping, there probably is a virtual ars-wiping app, probably featuring Steve Jobs' ars. And the wiping would be wiping fan boys cum off his ars.
  • Klingelton
    i think a pirate got hold of your article there nobby. failing that, you need to get your "E" button fixed. perhaps you can twitter for assistance...
  • Nobby
    @ Klingelton. I am a Nazi, so I follow the Old High German spelling.
  • Amanda H.
    I dont use twitter so I dont understand the workings but how or why did someone actually find his "tweet" about not having bog roll? Did he search for "help, need, bog, roll"?
  • Klingelton
    don't you need to subscribe to the piffle this twat has to say about his everyday life?
  • NuNobby
    WTF - IS DIS SHIT REAL??????
  • Nobby
  • ThunderBolt
    Is this what's known as Twitter on the shi... You know what I mean!?!
  • Nobby

What do you think?

Your comment