Captain Nation: Here to stop the Finnish kids from piracy... but we want to kill him

Here’s Captain Nation, a character dreamed up by the Finnish record industry as a figurehead in the anti-piracy battle. Watching him in action makes us want to illegally download every single piece of music and every single film and all of the computer games and most of the pornography that has ever been made.

It’s almost all in Finnish so it’s hard to tell what is really going on here, but it’s not hard to get the gist. The least cool man in the universe is trying to tell the kids not to download their stuff for free and he’s accompanied by a bloke dressed as a giant, shite mp3 player.

We’re about to use a phrase that we don’t use often, if ever, but it’s entirely appropriate in this case and we won’t shy away from using it. Captain Nation is a cock-juggling thundercunt.


  • Daniel Z.
    That can't be real... can it?
  • Wonky H.
    I bum foxes.
  • StickyJeans
    Wonky Henry should bum Captain Cock-Juggling Thundercunt
  • Wonky H.
    This is how Captain Nation should look.
  • Jack T.
    Wow. I will never download any Finnish music again. Except some Sibelius.
  • Pedant
    @Daniel Z Surely you mean WTF IS DIS REAL
  • Boom S.
    '...cock-juggling thundercunt.'? I know I haven't been there for ages, but Alton Towers ride naming people need to work a bit harder, surely?
  • blagga
    I do understand Finnish, and I can assure you that this is made significantly worse by actually understanding what he's saying. A significant chunk (pun intended) of the hair salon interview talks about supporting local Finnish artists. Anyone who has ever spent any time listening to local Finnish artists will understand why piracy of non-Finnish artists is so rife. Haista vittu, Captain Nation!
  • Jack
    @blagga Haha. Is this a genuine industry advert? It seems really shit
  • dunfyboy
    Can't wait for our version. Peter Mandelson dressed up as one of the village people, telling us to stop nicking music off his close, special friends in the record industry, whilst gently fingering his organ.
  • Wonky H.
    that image is quite erotic.

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