Captain Nation: Here to stop the Finnish kids from piracy... but we want to kill him
Here’s Captain Nation, a character dreamed up by the Finnish record industry as a figurehead in the anti-piracy battle. Watching him in action makes us want to illegally download every single piece of music and every single film and all of the computer games and most of the pornography that has ever been made.
It’s almost all in Finnish so it’s hard to tell what is really going on here, but it’s not hard to get the gist. The least cool man in the universe is trying to tell the kids not to download their stuff for free and he’s accompanied by a bloke dressed as a giant, shite mp3 player.
We’re about to use a phrase that we don’t use often, if ever, but it’s entirely appropriate in this case and we won’t shy away from using it. Captain Nation is a cock-juggling thundercunt.