Buy the app that lets you measure your wang!
The folks over at Gizmodo have had a lovely time of it, being hauled over hot coals for accusing that the founder of PlayBook (a site where you can crow about who you've had it away with) of being a massive virgin.
And so, we're going to try our best to get some attention by casting awful dispersions about a new app that allows you to measure your lad.
This app - spotted by AppShopper - has, apparently, been developed in a bid to educate men so they can buy condoms that are the correct size.
What we do know is that, once you've greased up your phone's screen with your throbbing gristle, you'll be recommended a condom size and type, as well as seeing your girth and length in a world ranking. Whether you can tweet your results, we don't know.
Of course, only an outrageous pervert who has bugged the app with something that secretly films you getting erect and whapping it onto your screen, would develop an application such as this. Someone who probably dresses up as a member of the IRA and makes violent, obliterating love to Steak Bakes from Greggs, wearing condoms filled with Ralgex. Someone pumping man grot all over photos of humpbacked Russian children.
Are we famous now?