Britain: A nation of virtual drunks

19 January 2010

Tony Blair once said that alcohol was fast becoming "a new British disease". Then again, he gave the thumbs up to killing thousands of brown people, so it's swings and roundabouts really. Basically, he can fuck off if he's trying to make us feel guilty about our habits.

Anyway, when it comes to drink, we Brits don't know when to stop. If you read the newspapers, we're a nation of piss-cans, all puking up all over ourselves, flashing our arses at passing news crews with a collective rotten liver filled with Lambrini and 30p shots of Sourz.

Since the media went into its health-kick, telling us to have 5.9g of salt, to chew five-a-day and to enjoy booze 'responsibly', we've been taking notes. And as such, we've knocked some booze on the head in favour of virtual pints.

That's right... this is a tale about iPhone apps. Our American cousins can't get enough of talking to each other and in Europe, they can't remember what any songs are called. Basically, in a stupid and convoluted manner, what I'm getting at is this:

The most downloaded iPhone app (ever) in the USA is Facebook. In Europe, it's Shazam. In the UK it's Carling's iPint.

While us Brits invariably like talking and music as much as any other populace, it's clear we like drinking piss-weak mass-produced virtual ale much more. Not only are we a nation of potential alcoholics, but we're also virtual alcoholics as well.

Perhaps someone should make a kebab app or one for Alka Seltzer?



  • Ows
    It's a damning indictment, and no mistake.
  • CompactDistance
    I'm going to drink more now just because Nanny State is saying I shouldn't.
  • MayContainNuts
    Maybe if you weren't all such arseholes, I wouldn't have to drink so much to put up with you all.
  • Nobby
    Who needs an iphone when you can have one of those trick glasses that makes it look like you are drinking.
  • Mr G.
    Who needs a trick glass that makes it look like you are drinking when you can have a pint of booze that REALLY makes you look like you're drinking. Until you fall over.
  • Kevin
    Your all children now leave the beer alone.. F**kit I'm going for a drink.. ;-)
  • Addiction D.
    This is a worth while read, thank you for sharing. Alcoholism is not a problem that is going away anytime in the near future.

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