Bitterwallet’s Christmas List: No. 6 – Robot Footballer
The BitterWallet 5-a-side team is continually getting torn 'a new one' in the local mini-league. Worse still is that we tend to play ten year olds. Ten year olds who are blind. Blind ten year olds with rudimentary limbs.
We clearly need help. Mercifully, some Japanese crackpot (the best kind of crackpot) has developed a two meter high robot who can play football.
That's if you count football as shuffling uneasily from side-to-side like Peter Crouch with Parkinson's Disease with giganto metal eye-brows stuck to its face.
'Hajime 33' can be controlled with a Playstation joypad and was designed by inventor Hajime Sakamoto. He plans to make a giant Gundam robot next. Mental.
Whether 'Hajime 33' with withstand the horrors of the BitterWallet post-match bath is another matter entirely, but either way, we really could do with someone buying us one for the festive period. He could revitalise the second half of our season. We've got a big game in January against a group of pickled cats in jars who, last season, thumped us 28-0.
Here's our hopeful striker in action...
And here's his mate, who says he'll bring 'Hajime 33' to the matches...