Bird watchers could feel the long arm of the law for owning an iPhone
Twitchers are in trouble! And it is all because of those pesky iPhones! Apparently, they've been fiddling with their handhelds while hiding in bushes, spying on birds.
That's right. They've been using iPhone apps that mimicking birds' calls which is apparently very distressing for our feathered cousins. It would appear that the female birds think that a male is invading their territory.
According to staff at Attenborough Nature Reserve, who are worried to the point of vomiting into their graze boxes, there have been cases of birds - such as Cetti's warblers and grasshopper warblers - being mentally disturbed by mobile phones during the breeding season.
This of course, leads our beaky chums to not lay eggs, or neglecting their young to the point of starvation and, in extreme cases, fashioning tiny gallows from twigs and hanging themselves en masse in nature's most macabre spectacle. And all because of a non-existent threat.
Wildlife officers are now roaming the reserves, challenging photographers over their barbaric use of applications and are trying to prosecute persistent offenders under the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981.
"We have had problems with people playing birdsong to draw birds out of the bushes to get a better view of them. It is the modern equivalent of a duck call," said Erin McDaid, of Notts Wildlife Trust. "In some cases, we've had a number of people doing it at the same time. It puts the birds on the defensive and while they are defending their territory, they are not sat on their eggs."
"Smart phones are a great tool for recognising and enjoying wildlife, but this is one instance where they are causing a problem. Getting the perfect picture isn't the be all and end all."
Britain is truly broken folks.