Behold! The electronic cheque!

13 February 2012

cheque_flat_1The death of the cheque has been seen as an affront to old people who don't like using the many electronic alternatives that are out there. They live in constant fear of not being able to perform rudimentary tasks like remembering PIN numbers and not blurting out all their personal details when faced with a Chip And Pin device.

And so, someone has created something pointless to remedy this terrible state of affairs! Welcome, the electronic cheque! Old people are saved! Provided, of course, they have a digital pen and computer.

Which they won't have.

Basically, with a mixture of new technology and an old idea, money can be transferred by people over WiFi, which is bound to be largely useless to those that are bemoaning the killing of the humble chequebook.

The cheques and pen work only with the customer’s own secure computer hub. Researcher Dr John Vines said the tech-cheque was developed in partnership with a group of people aged over 80. "The beauty is that it is a safe and cheap electronic transaction for banks, but it’s a physical paper-based transaction for the customer."

A digital pen costs £80, which is roughly one year's worth of pension to an old person now. They'll freeze to death, but at least they'll be able to sign a cheque for a tartan coat for their beleaguered dog.

TOPICS:   Technology   Banking   Investments


  • Alexis
    This would be all well and good if cheques were being withdrawn in the next 24 hours, not in the next 20 years.
  • Dick
    The dog is probably dead anyway from lack of exercise / eating egg and chips for every meal / cold / too much Downturn Fucking Abbey.
  • Boris
    Silly old duffers. I saw a fancy electronic pen in PC World the other day (don't worry readers - I was only there to inspect riot damage) and thought how very clever it was. There were pads to write on that did something or other and the pen could record what you said as you were writing on them. Bloody genius I thought! But then I couldn't think what on Earth you would what to do with them. Now as I've seen this check idea I still can't.
  • Boris
    Oh, by the way Dick. I haven't seen this Downton Fucking Abbey because I won't watch the wishy-washy-lefty BBC. Does it really have a lot of fucking in it?
  • Delberto
    @Boris Downton Fucking Abbey is on grubby ITV.
  • Boris
    @Delberto I find that hard to believe. I will check in my copy of Which!
  • catweazle
    The reason for the demise of the cheque is because having received one, they've closed all the places to deposit the bloody things.
  • Loafer1946
    The protest against getting rid of cheques is nothing to do with old people; I note the your ageist comments. How do you give people money if you don't want to give them cash or exchange details of bank accounts?
  • Dick
    By giving a cheque, you give them your bank details.
  • bushbrother
  • Pablo
    PIN Number???? Personal Identification Number Number????
  • GaryGlitter
    Loafer1946: how the fuck do you know if that person has any money (until a week or so later when it inevitably bounces) if they give you a cheque? Don't want to give your bank details: use Paypal like the good bushbrother said. As for Downton Abbey drop a bomb on that shite.
  • Anonymous M.
    @Boris, The digital pens and pads are used for the graphic design / media industry... they make the use of some applications quicker and easier. As for cheques, this has been in the air for a while... it been pushed back every year... and as surprising as it sounds, i encounter more checks than, i myself, think i should... people clearly still use them... and NO, its not pensioners paying for my services you disgusting, disturbing people!

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