The worst excuses for late tax returns

7 January 2015

TAX MONKEYS Tax eh? Everyone understands why it is needed, but no-one actively likes it. Giving money to berks who'll spend it on duck houses and moat cleaning or whatever it is that politicians do.

Of course, the deadline for online tax returns is upon us and so, to show us all that they're a bit of fun and not just dead-eyed bean-administrators, HM Revenue and Customs have gone and released their annual list of the 10 worst excuses that folk have given for filing or paying their tax return late.

Are you ready? Let's go!

1. My pet dog ate my tax return… and all the reminders.
2. I was up a mountain in Wales, and couldn’t find a postbox or get an internet signal.
3. I fell in with the wrong crowd.
4. I’ve been travelling the world, trying to escape from a foreign intelligence agency.
5. Barack Obama is in charge of my finances.
6. I’ve been busy looking after a flock of escaped parrots and some fox cubs.
7. A work colleague borrowed my tax return, to photocopy it, and didn’t give it back.
8. I live in a camper van in a supermarket car park.
9. My girlfriend’s pregnant.
10. I was in Australia.

We quite like the idea of palming everything off on Barack Obama. 'Why are you covered in baked beans?' 'Obama was feeding me.' 'I thought I'd told you not to get so appallingly drunk...' 'Barack Obama was out. And I had to look after some fox cubs while I was there'.

TOPICS:   Tax   Not The Onion

3 comments

  • Alexis
    I see "I rang HMRC but they didn't answer for 45 minutes and then they cut me off" didn't make the list.
  • Dirge M.
    ...nor the one where they reject it cos they cant add up properly... forcing you to miss the deadline and then having the cheek to fine you for their cock up.
  • Greg
    What's this got to do with the Arctic Monkeys? If bitter wallet start with this headline bait shit, I'll stop reading after 5 years. "Late tax returns - you won't BELIEVE what people wrote next!!"

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