How Do You Like Them Apples? and other bad puns as 'Cider Tax' is dropped

ciderWhen the government announced that it was taxing the shit out of cider, yokels and scallies clenched their fists white with fury and the rest of the world laughed and hooted "buy a proper drink y'idiots!" (with the caveat of - unless you mean proper scrumpy, which is not to be taken lightly in any way at all unless you want to lose your eyesight and possibly a limb).

Basically, in the Budget, it was announced that there would be a 10% tax rise on applebooze and no-one really showed any great love for the notion.

Well piss-ants, good news! The tax is being dropped!

Why? Well, the basic rub is this: Thanks to the General Election being called, parliament will be dissolved (not literally, sadly) and in short, they haven't got the time to sort this tax out because they want to pass a load of laws which needs to be done by this Thursday.

Alistair Darling said that the hike on cider, which will be re-introduced if Labour win the next election (losing the cider drinker vote? Hardly - people who drink cider can't read or write), was justified because cider had been treated more favourably than other boozes over the years. Everyone else pointed out that it was a bit of a kick in the pips slapping a tax on a business that's ailing in the recession.

So there you have it. The Cider House Rules. [You're fired - Ed.]



  • wingZero21
  • Gunn
    I thought it was already up in price, but if not then great news.
  • Deech
    went up midnght sunday after the budget, so ermmmmm how can this work? /me smells a stitch up
  • Sceptic
    Nice story but missing one key consumer related point. They are dropping the cider increase to focus on passing the Digital Economy Bill. That's the one where you, me and Ethel down the road get to pay a 50p-a-month tax on our phonelines. So whilst the Ed.s mum still gets her cheap white lightening, the rest of us are out of pocket.
  • SimbaK2K
    fyi... from the BBC article, the 50p tax may also scrapped. "The Conservatives say they forced the government to scrap a 10% increase in tax on cider, plans for a 50p duty on land lines to fund broadband expansion and plans to end tax relief on holiday homes." "The tax on cider, which came into force on 29 March, will be reversed on 30 June unless Labour wins the general election. " Glad they can make up their minds...
  • Gadget 4.
    People who use the word "dis" rather than "this" shouldn't be allowed to comment on anything. Ever.
  • Junkyard
    Almost right Sceptic, apart from the fact that you're totally wrong. The 50p a month tax has also been dropped.
  • Sceptic
    TYFT Junkyard - guess I should broaden my reading outside rags like BW and the BBC.
  • masklin
    must be true 'cause of in-cider knowlege :)
  • CIDER D.
    I take offence to the comment made about Cider Drinkers not being able to read or write! Being from Somerset, I can read and write very well thanks!
  • Nobby
    I think a higher cider tax should be introduced. Tax it the same as other alcoholic drinks. I do not drink cider or fuck farm animals or members of my family. I am not from Somerset (obviously as I do not drink cider or fuck farm animals or members of my family). PS No farm animals are members of my family, so I am not from Devon either.
  • Stirling A.
    It's good when you get to the core of a-peeling subjects like this. Toodle-pip!
  • Matt
    @ Gadget 4free! People who use the number "4" instead of the word "for" shouldn't be allowed to comment on anything. Ever.
  • Klingelton
    comment pending approval. Reason: use of txt spch in msg. (can you guess I have no idea how to mimic the kids' text speech?)
  • goon
    its some kind of loser cunt comment boring losers like to paste everywhere at the moment a bit like those boring pointless rick astley videos on youtube
  • goon
    or the ultimate dick comment of 'first'
  • Nobby
    There is nothing pointless about Rick Astley. When I'm feeling down, I watch one of his videos. I then think thank fuck I'm not like that spacca.

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