How Do You Like Them Apples? and other bad puns as 'Cider Tax' is dropped
When the government announced that it was taxing the shit out of cider, yokels and scallies clenched their fists white with fury and the rest of the world laughed and hooted "buy a proper drink y'idiots!" (with the caveat of - unless you mean proper scrumpy, which is not to be taken lightly in any way at all unless you want to lose your eyesight and possibly a limb).
Basically, in the Budget, it was announced that there would be a 10% tax rise on applebooze and no-one really showed any great love for the notion.
Well piss-ants, good news! The tax is being dropped!
Why? Well, the basic rub is this: Thanks to the General Election being called, parliament will be dissolved (not literally, sadly) and in short, they haven't got the time to sort this tax out because they want to pass a load of laws which needs to be done by this Thursday.
Alistair Darling said that the hike on cider, which will be re-introduced if Labour win the next election (losing the cider drinker vote? Hardly - people who drink cider can't read or write), was justified because cider had been treated more favourably than other boozes over the years. Everyone else pointed out that it was a bit of a kick in the pips slapping a tax on a business that's ailing in the recession.
So there you have it. The Cider House Rules. [You're fired - Ed.]