McDonald's threaten to go healthy
Why can't some things just be plain unhealthy? If everything was good for you, the world would be a very tedious, puritanical place. With that, stupid McDonald's have announced that they would no longer be making some of their less nutritional options and are going to start waving fruit and vegetables at us.
Irritatingly, they're going to use their huge marketing clout to 'help' us understand the nutritional choices available, when all we want when we walked through those grubby doors, is some processed cheese on a greasy burger.
And this is all the fault of fat American kids. This campaign was announced in conjunction with the Clinton Foundation's campaigns to reduce childhood obesity. Again, why can't some kids just be fat? Imagine a thin world of Gillian McKeiths. Dreadful.
"Companies like McDonald’s play a powerful role in shaping the culture and environment that influences the health-related behaviors of young people,” said thunderous bore, Howell Wechsler, chief executive of the Alliance for a Healthier Generation.
"We’ve been trying to optimize our menu with more fruits and vegetables and giving customers additional choices when they come to McDonald’s," said Don Thompson, McDonald’s chief executive. "This is a particular opportunity to partner with the Clinton Foundation and the alliance to leverage our scale and size and marketing prowess to be able to influence more purchases of fruits and vegetables."
Of course, Maccies already has salad and fruit, but those sales have been flat. This means McD's should give up and vow to make their food even more unhealthy. They should make Big Macs with additional kebab meat and bacon and ten sauces, deep fried, basically.