Food industry ready to cut calories all over the place

24 March 2012

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The government, which lest we forget is full of grade one WEIRDOS like Philip Hammond and Theresa May, is not satisfied with weakening our booze and then charging us more for it – now the wretched bastards are tampering with our food as well.

A whopping 17 food and drink companies have pledged to cut calories in their delicious goods as part of the war on obesity or something. Additionally, Cadbury’s have turned themselves into a laughing stock by agreeing to add resealable packaging on many of their chocolate bars – as if THAT’S going to stop us.

Under the new scheme, every chocolate bar made by Mars will have a cap of 250 calories, while the UK arm of Coca Cola says it will introduce a 30% reduction in some of its soft drinks by 2014. Seriously, what is going to be the point of living?

Sneering tossprick health boss Andrew Lansley reckons that three quarters of the food retail sector will be signing up to his joyless scheme. We demand to know the names of the companies that are giving it a swerve so that we can pledge our allegiance to their wares.

TOPICS:   Supermarket   Government

10 comments

  • Sicknote
    About time, I'm sick to death of seeing fat knackers everywhere.
  • Boris
    I can assure you that the companies will not just make the cans of pop and chocolate bars smaller and charge the same prices.
  • jen
    thats a good idea, having re-sealable stickiness on choccie packets :) I always eat some then put them down and one time i had sellotape on the packet of sweets, for some reason the next moment my sweet packet was on the floor, sellotape stuck to my shoe, and i dragged sweets all across my bedroom floor!. There where white chocolate button with hundreds and thousands on the top, i am still finding the sprinkles in my thick pile carpet now even after many many hoovers!.
  • shoplifter
    Jen...admit it....you are on drugs.....
  • catweazle
    Politicians should stick to fucking up the country and lining their own pockets.
  • Boris
    Shhhh catweazle - don't say things like that when there's an election on. Vote Boris - you'll loose pounds!
  • Doris
    "loose pounds"? There will only be one looser in this election Boris and that's you. Well technically there will be that lib dem too but nobody knows who the fuck they are.
  • Wonkey H.
    As long as they don't touch my Cornettos
  • Dick
    If there is a war on obesity, why can't the army just shoot fat people instead?
  • Mikhe H.
    ashfybudvjn.rkvjsdk, apologies, that was my belly hitting the keyboard

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