Fancy a coffee with 200% more caffeine?

Ever found yourself wondering what a heart-attack might feel like? Well, lucky you! An American company has decided to release a special blend of coffee that has 200% more caffeine than a standard cup.

And it is called 'Death Wish' and claims to be the strongest cup of coffee in the whole wide world.

The packaging on Death Wish coffee says: "This is not your regular morning coffee. This is not your store-bought coffee. You will not find this coffee at your local diner or at your sissy Starbucks."

"Death Wish Coffee is the most highly caffeinated premium dark roast organic coffee in the world."

"This is Extreme Coffee, not for the weak. Consider yourself warned."

Just what we all needed - a brew that makes people competitive. You can just see some berk downing pints of Death Wish coffee while boasting about the Trinidad Scorpion Butch T chilli peppers 'not being that hot' while shoving them up their arses.


  • Yog S.
    So the equivalent of three cups of normal coffee? Big whoop.
  • badger
    200%? So just double then? Meh. I'm sure there used to be a ground coffee called Hot Java Lava that offered that.
  • rebok
    200% Nooooooooooo!
  • chewbacca
    @badger Yup, I remember hot java vagina. It was hot.
  • bob
    100% more = twice as much 200% more = three times as much Just put 3 spoonfulls of instant coffee in your mug instead of 1. Why not challenge your workmates to see who can have the most spoonfuls. Should be fun at the Nurses staff room!
  • Spencer
    not that the absoption rate of caffeine will limit the uptake.... Best way to get 'up' on caffeine... small regular doses. Half a small cup of coffee every hour or so (25 - 50mg caffeine) will do you far better than dumping 500mg in one hit....
  • chewbacca
    @Robert Look, Robert - If you're trying to come across as condescending and patronising, you really should learn how to spell "spoonful". Otherwise, well, you just look like a dick. And a total fucking moron. You utter fucking moron.
  • Robert
    @ chewcocka Heaven forfend you've ever had a typo, The more you write..the more i'm convinced that you're a twat, If you had any friends I'd pity them.
  • Avon B.
    Do you think that Feral Trolley Of The Week is still there?
  • chewbacca
    @Dilbert Ahhhh, it was a typo. That old chestnut! Here's a typo for you: You're a total cunt, and I sincerely hope you get aids from fucking your neighbours' dog. Oh, and by the way, your father is your mother, and she's a slag.
  • Karyn S.
    Would like to see how one person will feel the crash from that. Put them straight to sleep probably.
  • Robert
    @ cocksukka That should be neighbour's dog you ignorant fuckwit! See it's easy Get back to your 'real ale' society , golf club or what ever gobshite group you bore with your diatribe Away and read your Daily Mail Oh and by the way Your Mum!
  • Roberts M.
    Bobby, Stop being horrible to all the nice people on the internet, they're more intelligent than you. All you're doing is making yourself look like a silly little girl. Speaking of which, I managed to get your favourite dress altered. You are getting so big! Now, any more potty mouth and you'll be grounded. Your Mum.
  • The M.
    You know you've been drinking this stuff when you answer the door before anyone knocks on it.
  • Me
    Poor Chewbacca
  • bummer
    Can I bum you chewwy?
  • Mr L.
    Actually, if there are multiple people living next door, and they jointly own a dog, it would be correct to refer to the neighbours' dog, i.e. the dog belonging to the neighbours.
  • samuri
    at least it hasn't been passed through a rodent
  • Zleet's M.
    @bummer up for a bumming ?
  • Rob
    Bottled it eh?
  • chewbacca
    @arsefucker It's common knowledge that you should refer to me as "Chewie", not "chewwy". You fucking retarded cunt. So, to answer your question - no, you cannot "bum" me. @Mr Logic Exactly. Although, it was nice to see the stupid cunt ignore you, and instead make an obscure comment about bottling. Bobby, now that you've been well and truly owned, can you do the world a favour and just wank yourself into a coma? You're a fucking waste of skin and oxygen.
  • Barnaby n.
    @ chewwy What a terrible temper you have! I hope you wash that mouth out with soap Before you rent it out down at the bus station Gobble gobble nosh nosh nosh Chewwy by name chewwy by nature
  • chewbacca
    @Bawbag the bare arsed child molester You type really well, considering you have your father's cock in your arse. You also seem to know a lot about the oral rent market, particularly pertaining to regional transport hubs. Apt, considering the amount of shite that comes out of your mouth. Tally ho!
  • Myself
    Poor Chewbacca, He's just a poor boy from a poor famileeee
  • Mary W.
    Good to see the legion of 14 year old boys haven't deserted Bitter Wallet. Now all get back to your homework and stop this incessant dick waving.

What do you think?

Your comment