Debenhams now allowing you to order coffee in plain English

30 October 2012

coffee-cupOrdering coffee in Italian is a daunting prospect, especially if you can barely speak the language you were born with (hello there people of Wigan). With that, the rapacious nature of the coffee house has been a troublesome sight for unfortunates.

Grande doesn't mean biggest? Or does it?

Either way, Debenhams are ditching all that in favour of a delightfully dumb menu after their customers (70% of them) moaned that it was confusing remembering what three words meant, and couldn't work out that they could ask the staff or say things like 'medium' and the person serving you would know what you meant.

Either way, you won't be hearing people say venti skinny latte in Debenhams from now on. Basically, you'll be able to ask for things like 'a black coffee', 'one of them frothy ones' or 'one with chocolate in'.

The store said: "We’re testing a redesign of the menu so shoppers spend less time playing coffee Cluedo and more time enjoying their favourite drink."

The Plain English Campaign (yes, that's an actual thing) welcomed the move with founder Chrissie Maher saying: "Whether tea or coffee, it needs to be in plain English. If customers can read the menu clearly, they’re more likely to try something new and they may come back."

Next week: Spaghetti renamed long tomato pasta and Rioja, wobbly grape drink.

TOPICS:   Supermarket   High Street News


  • Steve O.
    You say the staff know what you mean when you say it in English, but whenever I've had the misfortune of buying a fucking Starbucks and I ask for the largest coffee they do, they'll say "do you mean 'Venti'" or whatever the flying cunt it's called, and I have to say I've no shagging idea what they call it, I just want a big fucking coffee. They should just call it the BFC perhaps.
  • Darren
    Next week: Spaghetti renamed long tomato pasta and Rioja, wobbly grape drink. Why would spaghetti be renamed that? the definition of spaghetti has no tomatoes related to it? And Rioja: Rioja (pronounced Ri-o-ha) or La Rioja may refer to: La Rioja (Spain), an autonomous community and province of northern Spain Oh 1 minute, it was posted by Mof, now I understand....
  • terry
    i am from wigan and resent you're implication that we cannot speak english
  • Lord F.
    Thanks for comment Terry, did your carer write that for you?
  • Mad H.
    @terry - *your
  • LancerVancer
    Anybody that buys coffee per cup/bucket/thimble is a twat anyway. You might as well drink tramp piss. It probably tastes better. I feel the need, the need for weed!!
  • Mike M.
    @Mad Don Heistfooker - *missed the fucking joke
  • Bedtime B.
    @ Mike Hocks Mum - unlike all those drifters with your knockers; like a couple of fried eggs on a wallpapering bench.

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