Cover your horrible mouth while eating with a modesty napkin
Obviously, you lot have dreadful table manners, so when you're eating a burger, everyone around you feels violently ill, watching you grind meat and bread to a lumpy paste, lettuce hanging out of your teeth.
Thankfully, the Japanese have just the thing! Over there, ochobo (small, modest mouths) are a much desired thing, so burger chain Freshness Burger, have launched a modesty napkin called the 'Liberation Wrapper'.
Thanks to this wrapper, sales have rocketed. "Their largest and best-tasting Classic Burger was amongst the least chosen by their female customers,’ explained a spokesman for Dentsu East Japan, the firm that created the wrapper. "One of the major reasons seems to relate to Japanese manners… It is good manners to cover their mouth when they have to largely open up their mouth."
"Our female customers had a frustration of not being able to do it. Freshness Burger decided to challenge convention, freeing women from the spell of ochobo mouth."
You disgusting gits should get some too AND you'll look like you have the jaw of an attractive Japanese woman. Win-win!