Britain, your cinema food is killing you!
The chief executive of the Food Standards Agency has put Britain on red alert and warned that we might all have to start taking wheelbarrows to cinemas, as we struggle to carry the supersized snacks that are on sale in the foyers across the land.
Tim Smith’s reference to wheelbarrows has undoubtedly detracted from his serious message, namely that cinemas sell humongous portions of grub (for extortionate prices, obviously) and that little or no nutritional information is provided.
While acknowledging that we don’t eat cinema food on a daily basis, the FSA said that: "The food on offer at cinemas is food… is often high in fat, sugar and salt. It is also served in pretty large portions and people don't have a choice to choose something smaller, for example the smallest soft drink on offer can be as big as a pint and popcorn tends to come in large buckets."
The Times headed off across the nation to check out the startling information but only got as far as a central London cinema, where they blethered that a large sweet popcorn weighed 375g (13oz) and was likely to contain around 1,800 calories.
While we’re on complaining, Avatar was at least an hour too long and had a plot that a pig could have scrawled on the bag of a cereal packet. Oh, and there’s far too many trailers and adverts before the film and the 3D glasses had a smudge on the lens and some fat bastard was kicking the back of the seat and chewing his fucking popcorn too noisily.
Last time we go to the cinema.