All hail... Death Wish Coffee!
If you’re unsatisfied with your current brand of coffee and/or would like to experience life as if you’re permanently on a rollercoaster, possibly culminating in a massive heart attack, then THIS could be the product you’ve been looking for…
Eminating from New York, it’s being pitched as ‘the world’s strongest coffee’ and has 200% more caffeine than the average dark roast. Available online for $19.99 per pound, a parp of this in your facehole first thing in the morning might have you convinced that anything and everything is achievable. You might also become convinced that you can fly and try taking off from your bedroom window though.
Helpfully, it’s also eco-friendly – you might want to continue that theme by pre-ordering yourself a cardboard coffin for when you cark it.