Facebook rolls out its next generation of time-sucking nonsense

23 September 2011

Bitterwallet - Facebook logo Facebook, everyone’s favourite glitchy, info-harvesting waste of space is about to get a whole lot better, with the introduction of some new content from third parties and a greater emphasis on users sharing the media that they’re enjoying. It all sounds very complicated if you ask us.

The changes will be rolled out in the coming weeks, and Facebook have announced tie-ups with the likes of Spotify and Netflix, and if you’re in a ‘territory’ that allows their services, you’ll be able to use them from within Facebook. The Guardian and the Independent have also signed up to be involved – something for the brainiacs then.

Depending on your privacy settings (which we’re fairly sure will become even harder to navigate now) you’re ‘friends’ will also be able to snoop on what you’re reading, watching and listening to, and perhaps they’ll be inspired to join in, make an arsey comment about your cultural tastes or just de-friend you altogether.

Facebook führer Mark Zuckerberg announced the whole thing while standing on his head. No, he didn’t really – he wandered around a stage in that chummy Steve Jobs style that we all love* so much (*hate). He said he wanted to create "real time serendipity", explaining himself by saying: “Being able to click on someone's music is a great experience, but knowing you helped a friend discover something new and they liked your taste in music, and that you now have that in common is awesome.” Awesome.

The other major new Facebook introduction is the Timeline. This will be a user’s profile and will be made up of a vertical line of events, consisting of pictures, videos and other stuff, making up a virtual biography of your life. With most of it owned forever and ever by Facebook unless we’re completely missing the point.

The new developments will come as a blow to Google, whose fledgling Google+ social network ‘thing’ has struggled to capture the imagination of the world during its first three months. Surely it’s only a matter of time before we can shrink ourselves down and live inside our Facebook accounts. That might be nice – for a while.

TOPICS:   Social Media


  • Dick
    > Surely it’s only a matter of time before we can shrink ourselves down and live inside our Facebook accounts. And then all we need is a robot to do facebook and associated activities, and we have the ultimate ... eternal life. Our empty shells can also go off and do things in the real world.
  • Bleeding e.
    Er, what is a face book anyway? Do you think they will catch on? Can I get one in the shops? Does it need batteries?
  • Dick
    @Bleeding edge - All the kids have them. If you want one, you can make one. You just need a mirror and a book. If you want low tech, use a picture of a face instead of the mirror.

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