Facebook develops AI to watch over you
Facebook have said that they're developing artificial intelligence, which is nice of them isn't it? This AI will look over you and understand everything you do within the social network to help guide and control your behaviour.
You might think that is enough to chill the marrow in your bones, but Facebook have a different spin on it.
Yann LeCun, who heads up FAIR - that's the creepy dystopian hell-name for Facebook's AI division - said: "Imagine that you had an intelligent digital assistant which would mediate your interaction with your friends and also with content on Facebook."
So how exactly will it guide you? Well, LeCun reckons that it'll stop you from posting unflattering selfies. Imagine that - a program that is able to tell you if you look hanging or not. Of course, if you always looking minging, you might get a bit annoyed with some AI telling you all the sodding time.
Not only that, this artificial intelligence will take note of when you're posting anything at all, whether you've been drinking, whether you're in work or not and generally, it will try and gain context, draw a conclusion about it and then nag you. "Uh, this is being posted publicly. Are you sure you want your boss and your mother to see this?" the digital neg would ask.
It might also say: 'Really? You've downed half a bottle of Tesco Value you gin and you're thinking about sending a message to your ex?'
LeCun says this will be achieved through 'deep learning', which is a complex clutch of algorithms that will try to process abstract concepts. Basically, Facebook are having a go at Fuzzy Logic.
Remember the Microsoft paper clip that used to 'helpfully' chip-in when you were doing something in Word? Well, Facebook wants to create one of those for your online life.
LeCun says that Facebook are in a good position to get this sorted too, because the company collect such vast amounts of your personal information. The social network is already analysing your behaviour (and sometimes messing with your emotions), so having this bleak cyber assistant shouldn't be at all surprising.
So there we have it - Facebook are creating an intelligent spy that inanely offers to nag at users, slowly gliding into an Arthur C. Clarke nightmare.
"Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye"