So did YOU win a Kindle 3G from Bitterwallet?

24 August 2010

Last Monday we set the world alight with another blazing Bitterwallet competition and no less than three Amazon Kindle 3Gs to be won.  You lapped up the chance to join the e-book revolution like a dog with seventeen tongues, and now it's time to tell you who will be getting the blighters.

We gave one of the Kindles away via Twitter, on condition that you followed Bitterwallet and tweeted a completed phrase. We've picked one such person at random from all the entries and they are Jonathan Mathews, who came up with this entirely uninspired phrase:

Bitterwallet - Twitter winner of the Kindle 3GDuller than Doncaster it may have been, but then we weren't looking for originality - congratulations Jonathan. Next, we had a Kindle 3G for an avid Bitterwallet reader that would be our friend on Facebook and complete a rather more tawdry phrase. Another one picked at random, the winner is Simon Taylor:

Bitterwallet - Facebook Kindle winner

Finally, as rabid Bitterwallet editor Andy recalled some of the more curious sights witnessed in his years of retail experience, we asked for your retail tales. The last Kindle 3G would be awarded to the person who told the best story, in the opinion of the judges. That was Andy and I, and we settled on this from Eyevz:

I used to work in a certain retail chain that inhabited Virgin megastore sites until it went bust while studying…

A customer got so over excited about the pile of reduced price Peter Kay dvds that – for whatever reason – they vomited.

Promptly two people browsing nearby then vomited as a result of the “hear vomiting see vomiting do some vomiting” and vomited themselves.

The sales assistant then tasked with cleaning up the carnage then ran over with a mop, slid for about 10 metres along the tiled floor and wiped out into a large Johnny Depp cutout. I still can’t look at my old staff t-shirt / posters of Johnny Depp without being reminded of the incident.

Why did this story stand out? In the words of Andy, "I did a huge LOL and a small vomit." Congratulations Eyevz and everyone else, and thanks for entering! More Bitterwallet hardware to win soon.

TOPICS:   Social Media


  • The B.
    Next time, can you get some decent hardware, something like an Android pad, preferably one running with over 1Ghz processor?
  • Joff
    Looking at Johnny Depp often makes me think of vomit. Not really, I think he's a great chap.
  • PokeHerPete
    Dear BitterWallet. You have made a huge mistake - that is not how you spell my name.
  • Palmface
    When you set the rule 'in 10 words or less', did you just completely ignore that with the Facebook winner?
  • Jonny S.
    I did think that myself...but then again it's BitterWallet, did we expect any less?
  • Howard M.
    You don't clear up vomit with a mop at department stores, there's been a health and safety rule and provisions for years. There's special powder to sprinkle on it then wait and scoop it up and dispose of it.
  • Mark P.
    I am gutted. I bet those snot otters who won can't even fucking read. I can read. Almost.
  • David d.
    If the prize had been a fox, I'd have entered the competition
  • Charlie
    Pretty sure it said in 10 words or less... Therefore Simon Taylor should be disqualified...surely?
  • ShakesHeadSadly
    The vomit story sounds very similar to the tale that Chunk tells in The Goonies. Not that I'm calling shenanagans or anything. I just love The Goonies!
  • Norris M.
    Please stop making my posts wait for moderation.
  • Norris M.
    Your competition rules clearly stated the following: 2) Join our page on Facebook, and complete the following quote in 10 words or less: “Reading Bitterwallet is like making love to a bird with three tits, y’know, like that one in Total Recall, because…” So how did Simon Taylor win this when he did not comply with your rules that stipulated completing the quote in 10 words or less? He used 24 words, so wasn’t even close. Roy Castle would have never allowed such tardiness.
  • Ruby M.
    As I didn't win, I have stopped following you on twitter and removed you from my facebook. Norris is right.
  • Facebook
    As Norris couldnt complain in 10 words or less I have ignore his point. If the prize had been a fox then no way could I have stuck to just 10 words.
  • Paul S.
    Right then. The phrase is completed by Steve in six words: ...three is always better than two. Whether the comment afterward it is in fact part of the phrase is open to interpretation. We didn't think it was, but if you do because you didn't win, that's entirely up to you. The winner was picked at random, and - as the rules stated - Bitterwallet’s decision regarding the winner is final. Apologies if you're still grumpy about it. We're not Oprah and we can't give everyone a Kindle. There's another competition around the corner. And Norris - Roy Castle wasn't the adjudicator on Record Breakers, so his opinion was worth shit. Cheers.
  • Mark E.
    Actually the end of the above phrase is marked by the question mark after the word Recall, the four dots after the word two do not represent a sentence-ending ellipsis, merely a pause within the phrase. So the phrase is actually completed in 17 words I'm afraid, gentlemen.
  • Eyevz
    Amazed to have won. *pinches self* Makes those long days so worthwhile! Looking forward to hearing more.
  • Simon T.
    Woohoo! Thanks BitterWallet!
  • Simon T.
    Upon reflection of my invalid entry, on moral grounds I cannot accept the Kindle. Instead I wish to donate it back to BitterWallet to sell so that they may pursue further breakfast sundae activities. Thanks.
  • The T.
  • Eyevz
    @ Howard First vom incident I had while working there. May well have been handled differently on another shift but our staffers (like me) were mostly students with part-time jobs in retail to tide us through uni... we didn't so much get "trained" in stuff like health and safety - people just did what seemed logical and for the most part we were ok. @Joff It made seeing "Alice in Wonderland" with friends have an extra layer of comedy...

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