Burberry to launch pointless online trenchcoat gallery

chav4Some call them a ‘luxury fashion retailer’ while others prefer the term ‘chav clobber providists’ They are of course Burberry and they’re about to clamber on to the social networking bandwagon with a site called Art Of The Trench.

And get this for a stunning concept – its members will all have to submit pics of themselves wearing a Burberry trenchcoat. Yes, really. If you’re as bored with reading this story as we are with writing it, imagine what a colossal success Art Of The Trench won’t be when it launches next month.

Chief executive Angela Ahrendts told the Financial Times: “These might not even be customers yet. Or they may be a customer for a bottle of fragrance or for eyewear. But these are the customers who need the brand experience, who need to feel the brand. That word-of-mouth spreads through their social networks and continues to be a positive conversation [about Burberry]… that is so powerful.”

Fuckity-hump, that quote might possibly be the biggest heap of meaning-free guff anyone has ever, EVER uttered anywhere ever. What next? Minstrels to launch a site where punters are pictured with as many of the sweets as they can get crammed into their gobs? Our record is 31 by the way. Bring it.


  • Ten B.
    [...] launch a hip, new social network that makes us want to wipe our arses on all of their [...]
  • Joff
    How did I miss this?! I'm sure I've still got an old Nafco 54 jacket from the 90s, maybe there's a social network for us lot too?
  • Joff
    And I doubt you really managed to get 31 Minstrels in your mouth at once, evidence please.
  • Matt
    Indeed 31 does sound like a bit of an exaggeration...
  • Marcus S.
    I reckon 31 is doable, possibly even 35. Also, thank you for the NAFFCO54/NAFNAF reminder. Market Stall Chic.
  • Burberry M.
    [...] However, the site has already been criticised due to the negative connotations Burberry has in the UK and has received the nickname of “Chavbook”. Popular consumer website Bitterwallet made their thought’s perfectly clear by tagging the article as “Shit Idea”. [...]

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