Shhhh - now the FBI are after your money
Tired of trotting out tales about their fathers being international diplomats or in service of the Nigerian royal family, spammers are having to dream up more devious scenarios in order to fleece you of your cash. Some of them just aren't very good at it, however, as this epic tale of epic epicness goes to prove. Thanks to avid Bitterwallet reader Emma for sending it in:
I write to inundate on your recent dealings with my boss. I was a member of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) on local and foreign debt attached to the World Bank office in Washington, DC, USA. I resigned honorably when I discovered the unholy activities of my colleagues during a private investigation I carried out. I suspected some kind of foul play in their act which they would never inform me because they know I would never be a party to such as a Christian.
I discovered that my boss connived with some top officials of the World Bank to divert funds approved to settle lottery winners, international contractors and withheld inheritance. The World Bank has already given approval for these payments while they deliberately withheld your payment file. They incessantly ask you for one fee or the other from different quarters in order to justify their selfish interest. I wonder why you haven’t noticed all this.
Well, I just hope you believe me, if not, your fund is gone. Your fund is currently authorized to be paid to you from a financial consultant in the UK or US, approved by the World Bank with a Key Tested Reference/Claim Code Numbers, which was supposed to have been issued to you, but they decided to divert your attention by telling you that they have something to do with one committee or the other especially in Holland (Amsterdam) or Africa and they make you believe that the fund will be transferred into your account – FALSE!
The reason why I am giving you this information is because of the fact that I was aware of it and my doctrine does not permit me to withhold such information. The only help you can get from me now, is the actual link to your payment, please do not give this information to my boss as he may influence a total blockage of your payment, so you have to be very careful with this information.
Upon your response, I shall give you all you needed to contact the World Bank payment centers in UK or US.
FBI/WB. WDC, USA.
It's a conspiracy! And it goes right to the top! Marvellous. Maybe the spammer is Chris Carter. Can your inbox full of bullshit-baffles-brains spam beat Tracy Sanson's effort? Stick them in the comments below. Props!