Mass overdoses in Boots on January 30th - why not join in?
The thing with pre-planned mass overdoses is that they rarely end well. We’re thinking about Jim ‘Jonestown’ Jones, we’re thinking about Marshall ‘Heaven’s Gate’ Applewhite and we’ve got our fingers crossed for Celebrity Big Brother 7.
But a mass homeopathic overdose should be okay because, let’s face it, homeopathy is almost certainly a towering skyscraper filled with old bollocks. For those who aren’t sure what it is, the principle of homeopathy states that what ails you will also cure you… as long as its only a tiny speck of it and it’s mixed with fucking loads of water.
Sounds mad doesn’t it? It is – and we’re fully expecting a bunch of comments from outsiders telling us why it isn’t mad, but take no notice of them. They’re possibly mad too.
What is equally mad is that Boots the Chemist sell homeopathic remedies. They might as well be flogging other ridiculous 18th century shit like hairshirts or joss sticks (we know).
Anyway, back to the mass overdose. At 10:23am on January 30th, more than 300 homeopathy sceptics will each glug down an entire bottle of homeopathic ‘pillules’ (trans. useless shit): “in protest at Boots' continued endorsement and sale of homeopathic remedies, and to raise public awareness about the fact that homeopathic remedies have nothing in them.”
What could potentially be a terrifying scenario will unfold before the eyes of customers and staff in Boots stores across the country, with the possibility that the protestors will be dropping like flies – only they won’t because they’ll be taking a load of useless old shit (“Ah, but did they mix it with enough water?” an anti-sceptic sceptic will inevitably say.)
So if you don’t want to bear witness to suicidal carnage, avoid your local Boots on January 30th . Oh, and if you feel poorly, go and see a doctor eh?