Armed robbers prove Monster Munch are best crisps in the world
Monster Munch are the best crisps in the world, even though they're not strictly crisps. Monster Munch are so dazzlingly brilliant that armed robbers in Little Hulton (the armpit of Greater Manchester) went to extreme lengths to get their hands on a single, solitary packet.
That's right. These crims barged into a shop with a hammer and axe just to steal a single packet from a newsagents. They respect Monster Munch so much that they didn't take them all because they know other people will want to eat them.
Of course, there's a hole in the tale. The raiders actually tried to steal all the money from the shop on Sunday afternoon, but left empty-handed.
Then, remembering how ace Monster Munch are, they returned and made off with a bag.
Police Constable Lucy Pearson, from Greater Manchester Police's Volume Crime Team, said: "These men have twice entered the shop armed with weapons and threatened the owner yet have risked their liberty for a single bag of crisps.
"That said the quantity of goods stolen in no way lessens the seriousness of this crime, which is an armed robbery, plain and simple. "
One offenders are described in such a manner that they could be almost anyone in Britain. If you must know, one of these Monster Munch loving scamps is white, 6ft, and owns a black hooded top while the other is white, 5ft 5in and has a nice grey Nike hooded jumper and balaclava.
Oh. And Monster Munch crumbs on their chins.
Anyone with information about the robbery at Sammy's newsagent in Manchester Road East at about 5.25pm should contact police on 0161 856 5250, or the independent charity Crimestoppers, anonymously, on 0800 555 111