Pro-Pak pizza is a recipe for disappointment
Oh dear, sweet "serving suggestion" - is there any foodstuff you can't make deliciously appealing? Usually you do nothing more than state the bleeding obvious and patronise the public at large, but occasionally you're a little more devious in your ambiguous use of illustration and imagination.
In the case of Bitterwallet reader Martin's pizza, however - the phrase didn't even appear on the packaging. Not that it mattered; according to manufacturers Pro-Pak, stupidhead Martin should have known that if they show him a photo of a pizza covered with basic pizza toppings, then clearly means they won't be included on the pizza. Isn't it obvious? No? No:
"Annabel Karmel is a kid's food guru, writing lots of bestselling books on cooking for children. She has also put her name on some ready meals now too. Here is an example of the box of one of them:"
"It cost £2.29, so isn't a value pizza. It didn't say "serving suggestion" but I'm not an idiot, I knew the pizza wouldn't be exactly like the box. I did expect the mouth, nose and eyes at least though - pepper, tomato and olives being pretty normal pizza toppings, with the fresher ingredients like the cucumber and cress being what was referred to as "decorate with fresh vegetables" on the box.
"Here is what was inside though:"
"The manufacturers, Pro-Pak, said that the Legoland promotion on the box covered the serving suggestion text, and that "the intention is that youngsters can create a face of their choice, using the pizza as a template", and besides "sales of these pizzas are high with few complaints of this nature". That's all right then - as long as it sells well, you don't have to give people what they thought they were buying."
Sorry Pro-Pak, but you really are talking a lot of bollocks. Even if "serving suggestion" was visible, most of the toppings shown are standard for pizza. If we're to expect nothing but the basic pizza as you suggest, why are there olives? A "teddy bear pizza" suggests we'll get a pizza that looks like a teddy bear - if not, then you should really refer to it as a "teddy bear-shaped pizza" because that's what it is. Although you wouldn't know it to look at the atrocious mash of crap above.
Hats off to Sainsbury's who were good enough to refund Martin. No doubt they were also wondering why Pro-Pak thought this was acceptable, especially cheese pizzas this size are available from Sainsbury's and other supermarkets for around 60p each, or roughly half the price Pro-Pak are charging.