Get Burger King delivered to you... but no beers
It is all happening at Burger King - they're launching a trial of a home delivery service. That means, you'll be able to watch TV all day, and by almost clicking your fingers, you'll be able to get some spotty youth to throw a Whopper at your mouth. Just marvellous.
Of course, this is a trial, so not everyone will be getting this service. Consider yourself lucky if you live in Romford, Hull, Truro, Hornchurch, Skegness, Northampton, Hayes and Gants Hill.
There's more caveats, obviously. You can only get a delivery if you are ordering to somewhere that is within a two-mile radius of the participating burger flippers. You'll also have to make an order that has a minimum value of £14, which seems like a preposterous amount of food to order - they're going to miss out on the stoner market, who just want some chilli cheese bites and a milkshake.
If you fulfil the rather exact criteria, you can order over the phone, or via their delivery website between 12pm to 3pm and 6pm to 10pm.
Matthew Bresnahan, one of the marketing directors at Burger King, says: "Burger King is firmly committed to delivering great-tasting food at affordable prices to all of our customers. We are extremely excited about this Home Delivery service trial so customers can continue to enjoy the perfect combination of taste, at great value prices, now delivered straight to their homes."
There's going to be a bigger, wider national later in the year.
This is all fine, but for fans of beer in paper cups, the news isn't so great - BK were looking at serving pints at Victoria and Paddington stations in London, but alas, the police force have put the scuppers on that notion.
PC Bryan Lewis told Westminster council’s licensing sub-committee: "It’s fast food, fast service, fast alcohol and fast drunkenness, as a result of that."
"People consume alcohol and have a desire to eat fast food on the way home. At this point, they have had enough to drink but then they will be offered more [alcohol] at the station."
There's other places you can buy booze from in London train stations, so if you're a barely functioning alcoholic, don't worry yourself unduly. If you're determined to buy beer from Burger King, then the one at East Croydon station and Fenchurch Street station will sort you out.