Wilf Butler - Britain's Most Secure Man

13 October 2008

This is Wilf Butler. He is 109 years of age. Wilf is the most secure man in Britain.

Why? It’s because he is believed to be the only person left in this country whose data hasn’t at some point been lost or stolen on a laptop, CD-ROM, flash drive or a good old-fashioned briefcase full of confidential papers in the last few years.

Following today's news that information on another 1.7 million people has vanished on a hard drive belonging to EDS, Bitterwallet’s experts* now believe that Wilf is the last man standing when it comes to data disappearance.

Wilf told us, “I’m an old fashioned man who lives a simple life. I’m afraid I just don’t have any data that could go missing or get nicked. I live in a care home, don’t have a bank account and my only vices are the football pools and a drop of Baileys Irish Cream at the weekends. And I pay cash for those.”

Wilf remains defiant in the face of yet another colossal personal privacy cock-up. He says, “I spent three years in a Japanese prisoner of war camp for this country and I’ll be damned if some spotty junior administrator is going to lose my date of birth just because he’s had too many sherries after work and left his sodding laptop on the train.”

*NOTE: Bitterwallet experts may not contain actual expertise.

TOPICS:   Privacy   Scams


  • aphexbr
    Sorry to be a downer here, but he's still at risk for data loss. Does he get a pension? Is he on an electoral roll or census? Is he referenced in any data held by friends or family? Then he's likely to have had his data stolen at some point in the past or future - especially something as relatively trivial as a date of birth.
  • Paul Nikkel EDITOR
    As you say aphexbr there's no escaping the claws of the gov. I think Andy was being a little liberal in his quotations there thoughj...

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