Do the police have targets to hit with our DNA?

24 November 2009

Only the other day, I was walking along the street, minding my own business and sidestepping the dogs with knives, AIDS riddled litter and people puking up their twelve year old livers from alcopops, and I was arrested. The police pinned me down and said that I'd been writing a load of shit articles and swabbed my gob for a DNA sample.

That, or it was a bloke in a fancy dress outfit with a thing for jamming cotton buds into the mouths of strangers.

Anyway, with creepily fortuitous timing, the Telegraph have reported that police officers will arrest us proles for pretty much anything so they can take samples of our DNA.

The Human Genetics Commission (HGC) warned that this practice, which was revealed by a retired senior police officer, was creating a "spiral of suspicion" over the DNA database. As such, they want a review of the system, which they think is unfair and, probably more worryingly, doesn't work.

They argue, like many do at the moment, that this 'nanny state' is an erosion of our privacy.

In written submission to the HGC's review, a retired senior police officer, said: "It is now the norm to arrest offenders for everything if there is a power to do so. It is apparently understood by serving police officers that one of the reasons, if not the reason, for the change in practice is so that the DNA of the offender can be obtained: samples can be obtained after arrest but not if there is a report for summons. It matters not, of course, whether the arrest leads to no action, a caution or a charge, because the DNA is kept on the database anyway."

Currently, a fifth of the five million profiles on the DNA database are people who have done nothing wrong.

If reports are to be believed, then it does seem like the police have an equivalent of sales targets to hit. Of course, believing reports is treacherous in itself. It also appears that young black men are hugely over represented in the government DNA database. There are a lot of issues surrounding it... and one that continues to gnaw away in my brain is the likelihood of some daft git leaving a laptop in a pub with some seriously sensitive issues on (that said, it might mean someone clones me and makes me more efficient and likeable).

Do you think that there's a problem with the way the police force takes and harvests DNA? Have you been swabbed? Or is this just a hysterical outcry from someone with an agenda?


  • Matt-S
    I had my DNA taken when I was arrested for swearing
  • obvious t.
    I had my DNA taken when i was a student, taken in for having a traffic cone and a car-showroom flag draped around my shoulders. No charge but had my DNA taken anyway. ...Bastards
  • Habo
    Had my DNA taken when I was arrested for farting in the street.
  • bingob
    I had my DNA taken when I was arrested for refusing to have my DNA taken
  • andy y.
    I had my DNA taken for reading bitterwallet
  • yes
    I had my DNA taken for mass murder
  • The B.
    I flicked my DNA at them when I'd just had one of the wrist, it got one in the eye, thankfully they never saw where it came from (literally).
  • T D.
    I had my DNA taken when I performed a rain dance in Cockermouth last week.
  • T D.
    I also had my DNA taken for melching my superior officer.
  • Ted
    I had my DNA taken for making a nasty website about someone. It helped to raise the percentage of white females in that database, I hope.
  • jno;
    hey BW, you're not that rubbish
  • pauski
    I had my DNA taken in an unusual method - damn them honeytraps, but I was standing up at the time, I think I might be lucky.
  • Brian
    Hi, my name is Brian. My step father says, "if you haven't done anything wrong, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT?". Thanks
  • goon
    my stepfather says i wouldn't trust the man with my turd, never mind my dna. if they want my dna, pay me for it. cunts
  • ButterMan
    Helpfully point out to your step-father that Stalin coined the phrase "if you haven't done anything wrong blah blah" I had my DNA taken to seed a race of superhumans with massive IQs, low self-esteem and a predisposition to Male Pattern Baldness.
  • Sideysid
    I had my DNA taken by Sharon, the old school slapper behind the bike sheds once...
  • cannabis c.
    Hi, Here's another meaningless post listing another site that we'll prolly never go to, but it looks quite nice so have a look if yer interested in cannabis seeds The Weed Seed Shop.

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