Bitterwallet Will Stop The World And Freeze Time Itself!
The furrow-browed investigative types at Which? Computing magazine have got nothing better to do with their time than to buy old computers off of eBay and go snooping around in the hard drives for the personal information of the machine’s former owners.
We say ‘Good for them!’ – we certainly couldn’t be arsed with carrying out such a laborious task in an effort to highlight just how hard it is to completely wipe clean your hard drive before you flog your old PC.
The report reveals that second hand or dumped computers are an increasingly popular source of classified info by tech-savvy fraudsters as well as those who just fancy snooping around in search of a massive cache of free bongo pics.
It seems that the ultimate method of data-wipeage is the good old-fashioned hammer. Removing your hard drive before smashing it to buggery is one guaranteed way of erasing all those passwords and bank account details.
Which got us thinking… what if every single person in Britain got together at a fixed time, armed with a hammer, and started smacking the shitting life out of almost 60 million hard drives? Some rudimentary calculations that we did on the back of a scratch card show that the smithereen-generating vibrations that would shudder through the country would probably freeze time itself for at least a few seconds.
Well… whaddaya say? We’ll pencil it in for July 12th (my birthday) so tell your friends and start rounding up hammers and hard drives. Mind you, it’s got to be EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN BRITAIN or it’s not worth doing.
See you on July 12th!!!