Bitterwallet Will Stop The World And Freeze Time Itself!

The furrow-browed investigative types at Which? Computing magazine have got nothing better to do with their time than to buy old computers off of eBay and go snooping around in the hard drives for the personal information of the machine’s former owners.

We say ‘Good for them!’ – we certainly couldn’t be arsed with carrying out such a laborious task in an effort to highlight just how hard it is to completely wipe clean your hard drive before you flog your old PC.

The report reveals that second hand or dumped computers are an increasingly popular source of classified info by tech-savvy fraudsters as well as those who just fancy snooping around in search of a massive cache of free bongo pics.

It seems that the ultimate method of data-wipeage is the good old-fashioned hammer. Removing your hard drive before smashing it to buggery is one guaranteed way of erasing all those passwords and bank account details.

Which got us thinking… what if every single person in Britain got together at a fixed time, armed with a hammer, and started smacking the shitting life out of almost 60 million hard drives? Some rudimentary calculations that we did on the back of a scratch card show that the smithereen-generating vibrations that would shudder through the country would probably freeze time itself for at least a few seconds.

Well… whaddaya say? We’ll pencil it in for July 12th (my birthday) so tell your friends and start rounding up hammers and hard drives. Mind you, it’s got to be EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN BRITAIN or it’s not worth doing.

See you on July 12th!!!


  • Mike H.
    I don't think the person you're flogging your PC to will be happy if they get a HDD some numpty bucket has taken a hammer to, anyhoo I have hammer ready when you are Andrew, I think I'll smash some chav fingers while I'm waiting.
  • MB
    On Radio Five last night (Richard Bacon show) they did this live. Yes, live hard disc smashing on the radio. It was great! They mentioned a stolen identity in the UK was worth about £85K.
  • Andy D.
    And did time stop? Just for the tiniest sliver of a second? YES IT DID!
  • gravy
    Over the top from the numpties at Which.... a decent program will properly wipe data. They actually only tried one program - a free one. A UK ID is worth around £80 by the way, according to the beeb
  • Chris
    Why not just delete the disk partitions by re-installing the OS? Then delete the disk partitions and if you want to, reinstall the OS. I would figure that vaporised all the data, period.
  • Chris
    What I just typed really didn't make sense did it? You get the idea anyway, bleh I'm too tired to care :P
  • Bob
    Technically, you could format the drive, fill drive with loads of files filled with rubbish unuseable data on it (random ascii text), run a defraggger, delete it, repeat x 1000 and it'll probably be unreadable. Admittedly not as easy as simply downloading a piece of freeware to scramble drive sectors but it's more fun to create a package to do it yourself.
  • Andy D.
    Are any of these suggestions more fun than taking a hammer to it? No. No they're not.
  • MB
    £80 is what they sell for. £85K is what they can be worth if they take out multiple loans etc. They also discussed deep frying them in batter, although hitting with a hammer is better.
  • Anon
    Just buy a super strong magnet and you'll be done in 30 seconds.
  • Gus
    Few years ago I found a discarded desktop near a jobcentre. I nicked the hard drive ( recycled!?) and all files were there: Names, docs, passwords, e-mails. I just formated and used it as a back up drive. But they do have a point! BTW I have used the hammer method on a friends desktop.
  • Bob
    More fun than a hammer you say? I have an angle grinder, a shower of sparks is always greeted with many oohs and aahs from spectators (and the occasional "my eyes, my eyes, I have molten metal in my eyes" but that'll teach 'em to stand too close).
  • choc-chic
    lmao @ Bob :)
  • Lumoruk
    Anon they have magnets in them you muppet
  • Boo
    The neodymium magnet found in a hard drive, although very strong, isn't nearly powerful enough to erase data. It is, however, possible to acheive with a stronger magnet. A media degausser, which can supply a strong enough magnetic field, doesn't come cheap though.
  • bidrick
    Quote "On Radio Five last night (Richard Bacon show) they did this live. Yes, live hard disc smashing on the radio. It was great!" Listening to Richard Bacon makes it feel like time is standing still.
  • David P.
    Be careful if playing with the magnets inside HDD's. They are powerful enough to break bones should your fingers get in between them.
  • Alexandra O.
    Cool! See Andy, lay down that gauntlet & Parry steps up - that's way more fun than simply wielding a lump hammer. As long as it's someone elses digits getting mangled, obviously...
  • MR C.
    Well, If I ever need to sell/dump a hard drive, I wont be smashing it with a hammer (where's the fun in that?) some one is not going to even attempt to hack into it. No, I want the twat to spend hours and hours of his so called life, trying to install my unwanted drive, and then, when he finally gets it connected, and accesses my "data", hes going to get a drive completely full of this: (I'll make sure it comes in every playable format, right down to .gif)
  • MR C.
    It might be a good idea to leave a Rick-Rolled-Laden Hard Drive in a laptop, on a train with MI5 logos on it, and TOP Secret in big Red Letters. Might be one way to piss off The Sun/Mirror Journalists
  • nana r.
    @Bob lmao!
  • Fuzu
    Ooh gosh i just wrote a huge comment and as soon as i hit reply it come up blank! Please tell me it worked right? I dont want to write it again if i dont have to! Either the blog bugged out or i am just stuipd, the second option doesnt surprise me lol.
  • bryan d.
    Hello just thought i would let you know that i had a issue with your blog coming up blank also. Must be chimpanzees in the system.
  • Barnaby
    I stumbled upon your weblog on bing and check some of the earlier articles. Preserve up the wonderful operate. Trying to find to studying further from you at a later date!…

What do you think?

Your comment