It's the Mystery (can) Machine!
You're thirsty. You want a drink. And so, you walk up to a vending machine to complete the incredibly simple process of buying yourself a drink. You pull out your wallet, finger through your change, put it in the slot and... BAM! It hits you.
Mystery Can hits you right between the eyes and you feel a pressure you've never felt before. What will it be a can of? Dog food? Napalm? Dr Pepper? You do the only sensible thing. You kill yourself.
TOPICS: Not The Onion