Dead cat tops weird delivery list

18 June 2013


A dead cat has topped the list of the weirdest shipping requests by a delivery comparison site who we're not going to advertise because we're petty.

The comparison site compiled a list of the ten weirdest things that people have asked to be shipped. The dead cat, apparently, was requested by a couple who wanted their recently-deceased moggy to be delivered to them while they were on holiday in France.

For some inexplicable reason, they wanted to make sure that the pussy reached them in "acceptable condition", before it started to decompose. Others included a sex toy collection and a time travel machine.

Also in the list was a farmer who wanted an entire pond shipped out and a mother who wanted her teenage daughter stuck in an airless box as she was homesick in Newcastle. Who wouldn't be?

Daniel Parry, spokesperson for the website who we're still not naming, said: "We tend to see quite a few weird and wonderful enquiries coming in from customers, but these ten had to be the most unusual from the past 12 months; particularly the sometimes lengthy explanations customers feel they need to give us for these requests, which can be quite amusing!"

The top ten is as follows. Feel free to read it in Bruno Brookes' voice.

1. A dead cat
2. A 'pristine' sex toy collection
3. A hot shepherd's pie
4. A 'time travel machine'
5. A (live) hamster
6. A complete garden pond
7. A collection of 500 Barbie dolls
8. A couple's teenage daughter
9. A passport
10. A camper van

TOPICS:   Not The Onion


  • Get g.
    A Passport. Really? Get a grip.
  • Chewbie
    Passport WTF is dis crazy shit
  • TeflonMan
    Did they want the time travel machine delivered yesterday?
  • Baz M.
    Dear Bitterwallet, I am from the year 2150. I requested that my time machine be delivered yesterday but it did not arrive because, according to GalacticYodel, I had "scheduled a date before the machine was invented, so the carton was empty when we left it behind the wheelie bin of a neighbour who has not been born yet". This shit service cost me 2,000,000 EuroYuan. Can I claim a refund, in gold, payable now please?

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