Buy radioactive roses for your loved one!
Buying flowers for people is a waste of time because, while they might look and smell nice for ten-minutes, soon enough, they start rotting and reminding you that one day, you'll die too. And you get even more flowers when you die. However, why not buy flowers that glow in the dark, so you can watch them slowly perishing while sat in a lightless room?
That's right! Interflora are selling a "unique bouquet" made entirely of "stunning white Avalanche roses" which "give off an entrancing green glow" after nightfall.
They would be cool for Halloween or Goths who don't like opening the curtains or, indeed, the kind of throbbing, radioactive present for any people you know who have been involved in some kind of nuclear accident. They'll cost you £45 for the cheapest bunch and you can buy them online from Interflora.
TOPICS: Not The Onion