Young people know a thing or two about biscuits

25 June 2012

No-one likes 16-24 year olds. They don’t even like each other. What with their popular music and outrageous fashion, they don’t know anything about anything. Except biscuits. New research has found that rather than being all modern and with-it, the youth of today favour an old-fashioned biscuit over the new-fangled attempts.

According to market research analysts Mintel, who clearly had nothing better to do, young people are the biggest fans of traditional British biscuits such as Bourbon and Custard Cream, with 60% of respondents pooh-poohing the idea that traditional biscuits are boring, and the majority of them saying they would munch on a biccie for a treat. This number slipped to 62% of over 55s, although this may have a direct correlation with the number of denture wearers.

And it’s not even through lack of choice- new biscuit launches (not into space) more than doubled in the UK between 2007 and 2011, with over 300 in the past 12 months alone.

But it’s not all good news. Only 46% of the 16 to 24s enjoy a biscuit with a hot drink as opposed to 63% of the over 45s. We are losing the art of dunking. Also, biscuit eating is becoming subversive- over a third (36%) of biscuit eaters say they feel guilty about eating biscuits,which rises to almost half (46%) of all women. 40% of people say they would eat more biscuits if they were lower insugar, while simultaneously complaining that low-sugar biscuits taste bland.

But biscuit munching is also geographically varied. Top of the munching pops are the Scots, with 20%  of consumers eating them once a day or more. Next come the biscuit fans in the North of England with 19%, 16%  in Wales, Yorkshire and Humberside, 15% in the South West, 14% in the South East and Anglia, and 13% in the East and West Midlands. Only 12% of Londoners and those in the North West have biscuits every day. The total retail value of biscuit sales topped  £1.4 billion in 2011.

Mintel biscuit specialist Alex Beckett said: "The youth of Britain is growing up immersed in digital media, text-speak and cutting-edge gadgetry but this doesn't mean they don't appreciate a good old-fashioned Custard Cream… Bourbon or Malted Milk.”

"Maybe the lack of try-hard advertising appeals to them - or maybe these biscuits are just better value than the increasingly chocolate-laden new launches. Either way, the youth of austerity Britain has respect for our biscuit heritage," he finished, with a hand to his breast and tears in his eyes.

So what’s your favourite biscuit? Do you like dark and chocolatey or pale and vanilla? Could buying biscuits be our way out of this double-dip (geddit?!) recession...


  • Hubert C.
    I once went on a nice picnic and had some lovely Gypsy Creams. Didn't fancy the Admirals Pie or Derby Scones much.
  • Neal
    How could you miss out Ginger Nuts?
  • Spandex B.
    Anyone up for a game of Soggy Biscuit?
  • Henry
    I like Foxes' Rings. mmmm. sweet goodness since 1853.
  • I b.
    Oh! It has to be a Lotus biscuit for me. They even do a spread of it!
  • Haggis
    If there is one blog whose readership I can imagine playing soggy biscuit it's Bitterwallet. I'm in.
  • Phil
    Chocolate hobnob would have dominated this poll. Given that Hobnobs>Digestives and that Chocolate Digestives are only just beating standard hobnobs. I literally have nothing better to do.
  • Mr P.
    My vote would go for Gypsy Creams too, but they've not been made in 20 years. And I think those 'BN' biscuits are fucking horrible.
  • Paddy
    Jaffa cakes!
  • Mustapha S.
    What the feck is a Garibaldi? Isn't he usually seen propping up the bar at the Nags Head boring people about his recently purchased BMW 3 series?
  • Euan
    Yeah, choccy hobnob was a daft one to miss off...
  • great s.
    I usually go for a Belguim Biscuit mmm they're me favourites
  • Fat T.
    Jaffa cakes!? Jaffa cakes!?...Must stop the pedantry
  • Filter P.
  • Martin
    Agree that Chocolate HobNobs should have been on the list. Now Jaffa Cakes - are they biscuits or cakes? According to Wikipedia: "In the UK, value added tax is payable on chocolate-covered biscuits, but not on chocolate-covered cakes. McVities defended its classification of Jaffa Cakes as cakes in court, producing a 12 inches (30 cm) Jaffa Cake to illustrate that its Jaffa Cakes were simply miniature cakes. McVities argued that a distinction between cakes and biscuits is, among other things, that biscuits would normally be expected to go soft when stale, whereas cakes would normally be expected to go hard. It was demonstrated to the Tribunal that Jaffa Cakes become hard when stale. Other factors taken into account by the Chairman, Potter QC, included the name, ingredients, texture, size, packaging, marketing, presentation, appeal to children, and manufacturing process. Potter ruled that the Jaffa Cake is a cake. McVities therefore won the case and VAT is not paid on Jaffa Cakes in the UK.[8] However, in 1999, the Sun newspaper published a poll which suggested that the majority of its readers thought of the Jaffa Cake as a biscuit, not cake". Now that clarifies everything doesn't it? :-) And let's not start on KitKat's - are they biscuits or bars????
  • Dick
    Disco biscuits for me.
  • press o.
    Thanks for running our press release and pretending its real journalism. Don't forget to tell your friends at other journalist light organization's that we can supply them with the same level of page filler.
  • Joss B.
    What in the same of all that sainted!!!! Where are the king od ALL the biscuits. the Toffypop!!! Its a travesty I tell you!!! There must be a stewards enquiry!
  • kv
    chocolate hobnob would have won easily
  • Pj M.
    Where's the chocolate finger?
  • Chlamydia P.
    I like Lady's Fingers
  • Tom
    @Martin Yes it does you daft twat, a court decided a jaffa cake is a cake. Not hard to understand that. The sun is a twattly shitty newpaper who make things up. There is not such classification as bar, do you say 'I am going to fucking ASDA for a nobbing bar', you twat.

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