You’d have to be a mug to buy this
Royal baby sycophants are dim by their very nature, so it stands to reason that you’ll be able to sell them an official Royal Baby mug for the ‘princely’ sum of £195. Yes, that’s almost 200 quid for a baby blue cup with some gold bits on it and a lion.
The merchandise, called The Royal Collection, has been commissioned by the Royal Family itself (because, you know, they haven’t got enough money). The china collection targets hardcore royalists and idiotic tourists who are looking for something more official than a keyring with ‘It’s A Boy!’ written on it, and also features a minging pram Christmas tree decoration and hideous BNP union jack baby bootees.
The cheapest item in the collection is a tea towel for £8.95. Or you can buy a teddy bear for £95. It’s up to you.
Crazy menopausal women from the Home Counties will jabber that they are ‘antiques of the future’ and will keep them in a glass cabinet until they die, then their children will sell them on ebay for a tenner in 2030.
By then, though, we’ll be back to our shit shovelling jobs, like Mr and Mrs Ploppy, while young Prince George lies on a chaise longue eating an apple and tries to work out which socks to wear today.