Pass the shovel, the council wants to get in touch

3 December 2009

Dear Gateshead Council,

There was probably something important you had to tell me in amongst the non-stop crapfest that rioted through my letterbox early this morning. I think I glanced a booklet about adult learning and a couple of recycling bags in amongst it all. Sadly, not only did you decide to have over half a dozen unsolicited leaflets and directories and magazines delivered to me at once, but there was a metric fuckton of pizza menus, flyers for driving schools, flat roof services and other bullshit delivered at the same time.

Bitterwallet - a sackful of crap through the letterbox from Gateshead Council

No less than 13 items appeared at once - most of it yours - and so instead of determining what may and may not have been useful and relevant to me, I put it all in the bin. Not even the recycling bin. My job at 8 o'clock in the morning is not to determine who you may or may not be attempting to target with your scattershot mailshots. You reap what you sow, Gateshead Council.

12 comments

  • Mo
    I can personally recommend Mo's Pizza.
  • Ben M.
    I love that "metric fuckton" has become commonplace. Hooray!
  • Joff
    What a crock of lies. No way do you get a postal delivery at 8am, this isn't 1982 you know!
  • Gaz
    Nearly took a photo myself...to send to you lot. I actually piled it up so the Mrs could see it. Ridiculous. Especially the irony of giving out a recycling bag and then wasting all that paper on shite.
  • andy y.
    Hey that's my porn stash
  • Warwick H.
    Here. Here, I live in Gateshead and the crap that emanates through my letterbox from this Liebour Council and its arse bandit MP Clelland is unbelievable , they even had the cheek to send me a letter warning me that I had not returned one of their leftist propaganda surveys after I had been " ESPECIALLY" selected to take part , well nobody bloody asked me first so I told them to stick their survey up their arse, it was supposed to be a survey on the quality of my neighbourhood and how it could be improved, well for a bloody start you can withdraw plans to close the local primary school you knobs, and what the hell has it got to do with you how many live in my house and what their ages are ? what TV channels do I watch and what papers do I read and how many times a day do I have a crap and how many times a day does my dog lick its balls.
  • Mike
    throw it into the street, if enough people do it theyll stop sending it
  • Hi O.
    Bundle it all up with a laggy band, then write on the top in captial letters: JUNK MAIL/SPAM: RETURN TO SENDER and drop it in your nearest post box...
  • Mike
    Better yet dump it outside a council office
  • Lumoruk
    I've sold your address to a marketing guru he said your details are safe with him.
  • Norm
    Newcastle's just the same. Can you be fined for putting council junk in the wrong bin?after all it belongs to them and so does the bin(s) just a thought.
  • Richard
    You cab sell addresses?! Oh sweet, that guy who dropped off the yellow pages earlier is gonna be gutted when I tell him next time I see him!

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