Who will buy Bitterwallet the world's most expensive bike?

Apparently some bloke is trying to trek around the world at the moment relying solely on the help and hospitality of people on Twitter. The fool – he’s almost certain to be eaten alive in a dingy basement somewhere in Lithuania. Is that what he wants? You know what, it probably is.

So, as wacky challenges like that are all the rage, we’re going to commit ourselves to one too. Bitterwallet hereby announces that we’ll be entering a team in this year’s Tour De France. That’s right, the toughest endurance event on Earth (cue list of contradictory comments)

And what’s more, we’ll each be doing it on one of these – a 24k gold plated bike with Swarovski crystals. And blogging while we’re pedalling. Only problem is we can’t quite afford the $102,418.60 price tag per bike, so if you’d all like to chip in, we can make that Tour De France dream a beautiful reality.

No? Hello? Anyone on Twitter like to help us out then? No?

[The Presurfer]


  • the B.
    I like to see someone try and do a mountain climb on something that heavy.
  • andy y.
    You'll need a barrel of EPO to ride that fucker
  • SJT
    I'll give you 20p towards it. I want a diamond encrusted sponsor logo on it somewhere though....
  • J
    Hit me up with the link to this bike and i'll buy ONE for you guys, only ONE Terms and Conditions Apply
  • A E.
    4 comments so far, and not a single pisstake about the endurance event!
  • phil m.
    Charity has become a disease. It needs to be eradicated ASAP.
  • Arther
    Toughest endurance event on earth? I'll have you know the Rocky Style Slinky Race is the toughest endurance event on earth. It involves a gruelling meat pounding session with various other low cost exercises in-between and finishing off with a steep climb up the front steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art with a slinky race all the way down again while singing the original slinky jingle. The hard part is getting the slinky to go all the way down without any interruptions, if you fail you have to start the entire race all over again, blindfolded with rabid nuns chasing after you with rulers. What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkity sound? A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing! Everyone knows it's Slinky. It's Slinky, it's Slinky. For fun it's a wonderful toy. It's Slinky, it's Slinky. It's fun for a girl or a boy. It's fun for a girl or a boy!
  • Arther
    Phil: Maybe you should set up a charity for eradicating this disease.
  • khurram
    Maybe if you sell this bike and get one which might work, then I will chip in... ;) , We do have a problem with charity there is not enough off it, " WE LIVE and DIE FOR MONEY"
  • Andy D.
    @andy of yarm - Mmmmmmm, barrel of EPO......
  • Noel L.
    Will you put some playing cards clipped with a wooden peg on the spokes to make it sound like a real motorbike???
  • acecatcher666
    Isn't this piece of tat the bike equivilent of buying lizzy duke 9ct 'gold'. i.e: chavers shite Maybe if it had a gold boxing glove, mum or nanna on the handlebars it may have wider appeal EDIT: This comment was NOT posted from acecatcher3’s IP address - Andy Hamshandy
  • juankerr
    They're actually "only" 80,000euros or 21,000E without the nasty crystals so a bargain. Fixed wheel and no brakes so those mountain stages might be a challenge.
  • Brit B.
    [...] JIMMY:  Yeah you have. You came riding out of the shop on that 24 carat gold bike what’s all covered with diamonds. [...]

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