Which popular drink will dissolve a mouse the quickest?

6 January 2012

blisstree-mountain_dew-400-400 Yesterday, we brought you the alarming revelation that if you put a dead mouse in a can of Mountain Dew, it will dissolve. It’s obvious really, if you think about it.

To quote the boffin who produced the report for Mountain Dew manufacturer Pepsi...

"If a mouse is submerged in a fluid with the acidity of Mountain Dew, the following will occur due to the normal acidity of the fluid:

a. Between four days to at most seven days in the fluid, the mouse will have no calcium in its bones and bony structures.

b. Within four to seven days in the fluid, the mouse's abdominal structure will rupture. Its cranial cavity (head) is also likely to rupture within that time period.

c. By 30 days of exposure to the fluid, all of the mouse's structures will have disintegrated to the point the structures (excepting possibly a portion of the tail) will not be recognisable and, therefore, the animal itself will not be recognisable. Instead, after 30 days in the fluid, the mouse will have transformed into a "jelly-like" substance."

But it got us to wondering – would the process be faster or slower than with other popular drinks? Sadly, owing to a lack of time and surfeit of apathy, we left it at that. Thankfully, the good people at Vice magazine have not shirked from attempting to answer that question and have submerged eight dead mice in eight different drinks (namely Stella Artois, Red Rooster, Evian, Diet Coke, Sprite, Mountain Dew, Pepsi and Innocent Smoothie)

And here they are....


There’ll be an dissolution update at Vice's site in four days’ time and you can vote on which one you think will turn to jelly the quickest. To be honest, our money is on the Mountain Dew – we suspect that Pepsi’s hasty confession suggests that it was made specifically to dissolve dead animals.


  • Tom
    Oh thats why you don't find dead mince in cans of drink, just in bread. I though my can of coke was a bit thick the other day, yum!!
  • Noghar
    What I find hilarious about his is that some tw@ at pepsi marketing thought it would defuse the situation to release the details about exactly how a mouse would dissolve in MD. I mean, after reading about its 'abdominal structure rupturing' would you ever want to look sideways at a can of Mountain Dew again? Now you see what the complainant was counting on - them paying up rather than undergoing this brand-death by viral video. But if Pepsi wanted to fight it, they should have taken it to court and let the judge see the report, not bloody published it.
  • Dick
    Most carbonated drinks are fairly acidic though. Some coin collectors often use cola or even tomato ketchup to clean coins.
  • catweazle
    My money's on the Stella mouse coming out fighting.
  • me
    No Irn Bru? My money would be on the orange goodness.
  • james
    This is vile!!!!!!!
  • Percy P.
    Yodel and Talktalk are a disgrace. Oops wrong story* *hummus
  • Richard
    Oh God, I actually read the whole thing thinking it said moose not mouse. I only realised when I saw the photo :-P
  • The m.
    No Red Bull? I guess it would not work as the mouse would grow wings and fly away.
  • LanceVance
    Coke is the one that can eat through anything. My money would be on that if it was in the trial.
  • Marky M.
    Please please please let it be the Innocent smoothie. I'd love to see those smug bastards take a hammering and let us all get back to enjoying brightly-coloured sugary pop in peace.
  • Raggedy
    I often splash out on a can of Mountain Dew. Would that have any effect on a dead mouse or would the shop just ask me to leave?
  • The B.
    "Please please please let it be the Innocent smoothie." You mean the Coca Cola owned smoothie company? Less irony there really. BTW, the vice article's disappeared, I wanted to know which was fastest so went back to check, I feel the mighty hand of litigation may be involved.
  • Mike H.
    If you drink the Stella with dissolved mouse, do you beat the shit out of your wife quietly?
  • The B.
    @Mike - No, but you squeak whilst doing it.

What do you think?

Connect with Facebook, Twitter, or just enter your email to sign in and comment.

Your comment