When the going gets hot, we buy sausages
Sales of sausages are going through the roof his summer, as we languish in paddling pools eating pigs bumholes in a bap. Tesco sold 9 million sausages last weekend – meaning that pigs everywhere will be anxiously studying their weather apps and squinting at the clouds.
With temperatures regularly hitting 31ºC, we have all but abandoned being inside altogether - patio chairs are up 543% on Amazon, lawn sprinklers are selling like crazy, and nobody is ever going to use the cooker again.
Waitrose spokesman David Jones said:‘Many are virtually abandoning their stoves for the great outdoors – with barbies, salads and picnic foods on the menu. Ice lollies will be up around 110% on last year and charcoal is likely to be up by 300% on last year."
With more hot weather predicted this week, Britain is now officially living up to that most stupid of concepts - a barbeque summer. So can we give up on going to work and just sit around eating blackened bangers and bring drunk until September? You betcha.