What fresh hell is this? Get conkers-deep with the Kick Dummy
We don't want to take the piss out of this, especially since the guy selling it is a ex-officer in the Royal Marine Commandos and double black-belt in dynamic self-defence. But we weren't the only ones expecting it to be a half-arsed skit from Armstrong & Miller - avid Bitterwallet reader Keith saw it advertised on a proper television and nobody was laughing:
The Kick Dummy, then. Essentially, it's a blow-up doll for teaching you how to kick somebody in the balls. And that's it. It'll cost you the thick end of £60 to learn this Mr Miyagi-style maneouver.
Why did ex-Royal Marine Commandos and double black-belt in dynamic self-defence Neil Summers invent "the only training dummy on the market with two legs, shaped like a man"? Because his busy lifestyle prevents him teaching his five daughters to kick a man's cock off. Seriously, he's just got too much stuff on, like inventing the inflatable smashed twat - even though the workout supplied on DVD is just three minutes long.
* ex-Royal Marine Commandos and double black-belt in dynamic self-defence Neil Summers is probably not inventing an inflatable smashed twat, and we think he's a cracking bloke with a good head of hair. Cheers Neil!