Touch sticks keep you safe from disease, at least in your mind

10 November 2009

What the blazes are these, then? They're touch sticks, that's what. You know - sticks for, well, touching things. Those of you with a phobia of using public toilets - they're for people like you. If during the course of your day, you have need to finger a stranger's keyboard or a foreign cash machine, the last thing you want to do is catch the pox or AIDS or whatever else the manufacturers of these ridiculous devices think you're at risk of. So prod the appropriate keys with this half-arsed piece of plastic, and rest assured you'll stay clear of any bio-hazards:

Bitterwallet - Touch Sticks - pointless

Be warned, however - touch sticks are "not guaranteed to protect against transmission of or infection from germs or any other harmful substances" - in other words, they're UTTERLY POINTLESS. Unless a keypad is dripping in acid or manjam (in which case, why do you need to touch it again?) then buyer beware.

[Red Ferret]

9 comments

  • Dave F.
    Excellent. A keyring that I can collect bacteria on.
  • Gunn
    top contender for useless item of the century.
  • The B.
    Not only useless but I'm that's not recycleable plastic?
  • Alien D.
    These are great... where do I buy them?
  • Alien D.
    BTW, they are pointless.... touch sticks are meant to be blunt. Ha ha ha hahahahahahah!!!
  • Ross
    Could be useful for touching the keys on my new Twitterpeek
  • Nobby
    In the public toilets in my local town centre, these would be useless. You have to walk through a puddle of piss at least half inch deep just to get to the toilet. Most people tiptoe. Stilts would be a better idea.
  • Marlowe
    Surely this is a way of spreading Evil rather than preventing it. You touch the ATM, or the keyboard, or whatever, and then the touch-stick carries those germs back to your pocket where they can get rightly smeared all over your keys and loose change. A better idea would be a box of lollipop sticks; use a stick and then discard in the nearest wastebin. Solved.
  • Erica B.
    fuc in hell i was comtemplating asking for one for xmas ( opening doors ) when visting hospitals maybe i am losing it my daughter says i have ocd maybe......

What do you think?

Connect with Facebook, Twitter, or just enter your email to sign in and comment.

Your comment