Those new Apple rumours in full...
Here’s the latest rumours we’ve heard regarding Apple’s major announcement, which is scheduled for some time after 6pm this evening...
- An iPod will be released with all of the controls on the inside. In order to operate it you’ll have to use a special mirrored glove that Apple have only been able to licence following Michael Jackson’s death.
- A inflatable Macbook will go on sale from tomorrow. When deflated, it will comfortably fit in any human anus, making it easier for users to pass through airport security.
- Steve Jobs is stepping down from Apple to form a funk band called Rhythm Sexion.
- The Beatles have reformed. All four of them, via a heavenly link-up using new technology pioneered by Apple. They’ll be launching it as the iFterlife. On sale from tomorrow at just $29,000.
- Five exploding iPods have been released around the world. The holders of them will be invited to spend a day with Steve Jobs at Apple HQ. The last one alive at the end of the day becomes the next Apple CEO.