The vegan KFC Double Down is offensive and a disgrace
Why? Why would a vegan even attempt to recreate the now legendary KFC Double Down for their own pale palette? The point is that it's packed so full of meat that there's no room for vegetables, mushroom spores or tofu. No bread in a sandwich? That's because it's too full of MEAT, you tits.
Just look at it. Look At. It. You're trying to kill everything there is to love about the KFC Double Down. We're not interested in it because of its appearance, we crave it because it's full of MEAT:
Worse, the creator tries to engage us with some pathetic commentary that isn't half as heartfelt as our bitching friend from the other day. As if this man has any clue about the true emotional power of the Colonel's secret blend of eleven herbs and spices:
I bought the best processed fake chicken I could find. Cook it first in a pan and give it a little bit of a crust. I have to say, this was intense. I ate the whole thing, and actually cried a little afterward. I walked my dog shortly after finishing it, and I felt like everyone was staring at me like I just had gross sweaty sex in the back of a van.
"The best processed fake chicken" you could find? What does that even mean, you protein starved fiend? Get out.